Manners/ Empathy

How early is it to teach your children manners? I was accused by a friend of being extra with teaching my kids to say please and thank you. His argument was they have enough time to learn it.

I started out teaching them thankyou around 9 months and when they started asking for stuff, I would say please. They are 19 months and are well versed in their thank you, please, sorry and stop crying (more like “stop craweeeng”).

For me it is very important that my children have manners and are able to have empathy when the situation demands it. I am not worried about them learning their abcs or 123s per say- there is enough time to learn those. I want my children to understand sharing, love, compassion, empathy and gratitude.

My children have started noticing things such as when others hit their legs and stuff- they go over, say sorry or sorry and stop crying😂. They tell each other also to stop crying. They say thank you about 75% of the time when someone gives them anything- including their meals and please whenever they want something.

I also make sure they tell their nannies thank you when they help eash their hands and change diapers etc.

So sorry, do you think I am extra? Or am I raising children that may be over emotional someday?

We have started work on good morning and others butits easier for them to say Hi


8 Comments on Manners/ Empathy

  1. No, I do not think you are extra. They may or may not be over emotional someday; that has more to do with their personalities than your teaching them manners. As they grow, you’ll teach them that while they should be respectful, polite and have empathy, other people may not be the same so they shouldn’t feel too bad about it (especially with not so close friends), and it should not change their attitude.

    At a later age still, you’ll teach them not to allow themselves be bullied or disrespected, and how to walk away from people that are not worth their energy and time.

    Kudos to you, I like what you’re doing.


  2. Chrisyinks // January 30, 2018 at 11:05 // Reply

    It is said that a woman once approached an elderly man asking how soon she could start teaching her child the basics of life. The elderly man inquired the age of the child and she replied three years, he then responded, you are three years late already. There is also a TED talk video that scientifically proves that a child starts learning not just from birth, but from the mother’s womb.

    My perspective is that if a child can successfully learn any particular concept, then you had better start teaching them the right stuff. It is easier that way than having to re-train them to learn the right stuff. Don’t be deceived by their age or seemingly naivety, children are always learning.


  3. they are your children, so you raise them as you please, really.
    However, I am inclined to agree with your friend. the manners can be preserved for when they understand what the manners mean… I don’t know but “thank you” to someone changing your diapers sounds funny to me 🙂


  4. I firmly believe you’re doing the right thing! Manners are extremely important


  5. You are doing great! I have already started with saying thank you anytime my daughter gives me anything or when I ask her to give something to me. She can’t say thank you yet, but she smiles when I say it and then goes on to give every other thing in sight just to hear thank you.


  6. You are doing a great job. Why wait when they already understand things. I love the fact that they say thank you to their nannies after diaper change lol,its very sweet.


  7. You’re right on time. Keep going. I taught same. My children understand appreciation and compliments. My son is the first to notice a new hairdo and makes me smile with his words. My daughter praises me each time I wear something nice.

    Your babies may not be emotional but surely, they’ll be respectful and be loved for it.


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