“GUIDE TO POLITELY ASKING SOMEONE WHY SHE DOESN’T HAVE CHILDREN YET:
1. DO NOT ask any woman why she doesn’t have children yet. There’s no polite way to ask this intruding, none-of-your-business, personal-information question. Maybe she got married a virgin and is trying to enjoy sex for some time; maybe she and her spouse are looking to be more financially stable before increasing their family; maybe they gave themselves a two-year time frame (for reasons they are not required to explain to you); maybe they’re having some difficulty conceiving. Whatever the case may be, they do not owe you children. Do not question them like their credit score is affected by it.
2. DO NOT tell a couple that you put their names in the hat when Pastor said you should give him names of barren people to pray for. That a woman hasn’t gotten pregnant or given birth doesn’t mean she is barren. Barrenness is not like a high temperature or allergies, IT IS A BIG DEAL. Don’t trivialize it.
3. The only people allowed to ask a family about their procreation proclivities are immediate family members. Finish. No exception to the rule. Even then, ask in love, and genuine concern, not for gist sake, in the name of ‘prayer request’.
I understand how Naija works – the natural progression of things is:
– Graduate from the University
– Start presenting yourself as marry-able material
– If you get a job in the process, make sure you’re not too successful so you don’t scare eligible bachelors away.
– Marry. – Get pregnant on your wedding night
– If your job is getting in the way of your wife/mother requirements, quit it. Your husband is ‘Tony Stark’, he can take care of everything.
Having children is not clockwork; that there are so many children born everyday doesn’t mean it’s not a challenge for some. Don’t force your questionable expectations on others with all those, ‘In 9-months time’ prayers. (I didn’t say Amen to any of those prayers at my wedding. Lol). Be kind to one another. I pray that all who are seeking the fruit of the womb will receive miracles in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
As written by my darling driend and a woman I admire very much “Mide”!