Dear Young Woman -II

Are you sitting reading? What do you know about yourself? Have you refused to listen to those in the know or are you busy taking advice from your friends? Did mummy tell you if boys touch you, you will become pregnant? Did your folks leave you feeling ill-equipped to handle life?
Oh so you graduated from high school with all A’s at 16 and based on that you went to University.  Can you deal with peer pressure? You know prostituion is wrong, but your hear your friends talking about runz and how it’s different because you don’t stand on the roadside? 

You see them with their flashy devices and you think you are missing out? You want the latest gadets so you don’t feel left out. You are easily convinceable because you are naive. So they call you up for a night outing and the old man climbs on top of you because you think it is what you have to do to get the gadgets and the clothes. You dont stop to think for a minute that your body is just that yours and it is for God.

You place value in material goods which at the end of the day are transitory and won’t even matter in the course of a few weeks. You go home to your family on occasion and hide the items gotten from your soul selling from them. 

My dear young woman the desecration of your body may be a physical act, but it actually stays with you emotionally. The choice on how your body should be shared should be a thoughtful process that does not involve a monetary value exchange.  You should be knowledgeable in why you make choices and likewise knowledgeable about the effects of those choices. 

Your books are not the only reason you are in the University. Far from it – it is a place for you to learn actual concepts to help you become a more productive member of society in the long run. Its to help prepare you for the world partly so to speak. Passing through the University does not guarantee you a job or a better life than others. You should use the experience for new things and intentional growth.  Do new things, be confident in your choices so that when you make mistakes you are able to move past them better.

My Observation: I notice in Nigeria we think we have prepared our children for the world beyond when in actuality we have only ensured they can do well academically. We don’t ensure they are emotionally mature to handle life ahead.  

My two cents, please feel free to add on. 


6 Comments on Dear Young Woman -II

  1. Love this! Pls continue


  2. Nice write-up and your observation is very apt!

    so I have a little cousin who is about 14 years old, she’s an exceptional student and has always wanted to be a doctor. we got talking recently and she said she’s thinking of studying accounting instead of medicine. i am an accountant so that’s cool but i needed to know the reason for the sudden change. her reason made we weak! according to her, her friends feel medicine is too long and she’s worried about getting married.
    Pls what does she know they do in marriage that she’s already feeling pressured to get married. i tried talking to her, i even used myself as an example (an accountant but single while my close friend is a married doctor) but i don’t think she gets it yet. Please, what can i do to help her.


    • Zoe, you ultimately just have to keep talking to her and make sure you are one of the strongest voices in her head. Its a bit disheartening that our young girls just mislead each other based on some erroneous comments they have heard from adults.


    • @ Zoe…wow…it’s so funny how young minds think. I’m a medical doctor, I graduated at 24 and got married at 26. I never even thought I’d get married so early.
      If she studies medicine in Nigeria/Ghana or Europe. ..she spends 5-6 yrs.
      In the US, it’s slightly longer as you have to have a 1st degree and then 4 yrs of medical school.
      The beauty of medicine is that you can take some time away from your career after graduation and still be able to get back in.
      For example, after getting married at 26, I had 2 kids…I was working part time. Now at 30…I’m gearing up to face my career full time (this includes getting into residency/specialising).
      Some of my classmates who are still single got to move up on the career ladder faster…but they too will need to take out some time later when they get married and start having little kids cos medicine is time consuming.
      So pls tell your cousin…not to use marriage as a defining yardstick for what she wants to become on future.


  3. OAD, the way young girls and I mean teenagers talk about marriage, it baffles me. Even at 25 I didn’t think I was emotionally mature for marriage, I was 28 when I started seriously paying attention .

    Too many misleading information out there for young girls, I started the Girls will Rise mentoship program based on the fact that girls are getting it all wrong.


  4. Lauretta // June 6, 2017 at 23:10 // Reply

    Need I say more . Yes you are very correct in the aspect of parents preparing children to be better at academics and not in character building. I understand better at this stage I am in the importance of networking. Thanks for this piece.


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