This Marriage Thing

Hey Everyone, how is your week? Mine is actually going well- started kind of sort of working and doing a lot of research for my main project and somehow I find the hours in the day.
Anyways the reason for this post is dishonesty in marriages. Considering how big a deal marriage is in Nigeria, you would expect that we would go in with open minds and a great degree of honesty and overall openess. Why lie? If you are to sleep next to that person for the rest of your life essentially, whats the point in lying?

I hear of too many stories whereby the lies are so big that I don’t even understand how the other party found forgiveness or even managed to consider it. I will give three incidences that come to mind readily.

1. Dude was arrested in America for fraud previously,  instead of telling his wife before hand- he allowed her to go deliver their first child in America as she had a green card. When it was time for him to enter America a few weeks to the delivery he got arrested at the point of entry because apparently he had jumped bail. Not only was she dealing with being pregnant she had to find a way to bail the clown out and he ended up in jail for I think two months…he missed the birth and 1st month of baby’s life.

2. Guy was arrested for murder in the UK, dude jumped bail and ran to Naij. The babe married him without knowing his past. Anyway there is no statue of limitations for murder in the UK, interpol kukuma picked him up in Naija…and left the woman with one child.

3. Dude overstayed UK visa sometime in the recent past. He married a British Citizen in Naija. To file paperwork he wasn’t proactive – wife left early as per maybe 4 months and went to her family.  Anytime husband will say he has applied for the visa. When baby was born 1 month early he kept telling the woman he was coming till her father had to call his father when baby was 3 weeks old and say ” what is wrong with lagbaja? Our daughter isn’t handling this birth well, baby is in NICU on feeding tubes etc”. Dude’s father now says “ah you know how it is with visa, they denied his visa application the month before baby was born”!

My question is why do people feel the need to lie? If you lie such lies to the persons closest to you, who the hell are you honest with? Can such people ever even be honest? We are chasing marriage in Nigeria but you hear these horror stories and you are like wtf?

Please share your thoughts and give us gist if you know of such situations. 


3 Comments on This Marriage Thing

  1. Truly the stories one hears and reads about dishonesty between spouses is amazing! Another things I wonder about is, how one can knowingly marry a person who is presently into illegal/ dishonest ways of making money and then say ‘I can’t leave because they are at least honest with me and the bills are paid and some more.’


  2. chrisyinks // October 26, 2016 at 02:42 // Reply

    It’s clear that honesty doesn’t rank high as a value for the guilty party. Quite frankly, honesty doesn’t rank high for many people.


  3. My own question is what is the end goal. How long can you sustain all these lies? it’s so ridiculous.


Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.