Many many years ago I was born on a fathers day Sunday. …Ironically I am my father’s only female child. My father while far from being perfect has probably be one of the most invested parties in my life in terms of encouragement – professionally and emotionally. My father is what I would describe as a feminist even though he might have advocated for me simply because I am his child.
I understand to a certain extent the sacrifices a lot of fathers make to care for their children. Many times our fathers simply give us what they know…my father always told us he didn’t want to be like his father who was very big on education but didnt know how to spend time with them. I remember a lot of Saturday afternoons when my dad would say he was going to the car shop and I would pick up my flip flops and follow him and he would explain to me what they said was wrong with the car. Or we would go to one of his pharmacies and while he was dispensing he would explain each drug to me and I would watch as he counted the pills and gave instructions.
Some of my fondest childhood memories of my dad are from my parents arguing about whether my dad should be washing my brothers hair with imperial lather instead of shampoo or why he always insisted on sponging us down instead of using a wash cloth. You would know when my dad was responsible for our “outfits” of the day when it was a bit wonky – he always let us pick out our clothes and ignored all others…he used to try to tie my hair bows even.
My relationship with my father helped shape my relationship with men – both profesionally and personally. He gave me ideas on what to expect to a certain extent and what not to stand for if I felt it would violate my personal space.
Most of all he has always had lofty expectations for me and often reinforced them in many of our interactions. My father although far from perfect has always been my number one supporter outside of my husband which is a fairly recent development.
I say thank you father for helping me understand the sky is the limit for whatever it is I can dream or visualise for my life.
As for women wanting to celebrate fathers day as single mothers – I empathise with you somewhat- but please it is called fathers day for a reason…we already have two mothers days that we celebrate in Nigeria, lets give the good fathers their day and allow them enjoy it.
Please feel free to leave your fondest daddy memories below….and a Happy fathers day to all fathers and future ones. May your children celebrate you.