Why Get Angry?

So my timing has been off lately, I blame time difference and fresh breeze. I saw something this morning that made angry. I find this trend common with a lot of young women. You can read the images below-




Now my question is this why does this young woman believe she deserves or should even be asking the man for a phone? And she has the nerve to get offended when he asks for something in return?

1.  You know the man is married but you go ask him for a phone? So he is obviously not even toasting you for main chic position and you are aware.

2. Even if he was toasting you- he doesn’t owe you anything outside of mutually agreed upon activities such as dates. If he decides to throw in gifts to woo you, that’s his perogative.  He is not your father – do not ask a man for what your father is not providing for you. Go and work and stop getting offended he doesn’t feel inclined to spend his money without seeking what he feels is a return or exchange.

3. did he ever imply he was Jesus or Santa who gave stuff away for free?

4. Why are young women so quick to expect stuff from mem beacuse they like them? You are collecting gifts but you don’t want to give something in return? Women fight for equal rights but some of us do not deserve equal rights or the said respect.

Growing up the one thing I noticed with my dad was that it almost didnt matter what I asked him for- if it was within reason he would give it. I had a 090 Nokia as an extension of my dad’s phone when I was in SS1 or so because I was able to justify it.  My mom didnt even have a cell phone in Lag then- it was my brothers that really wanted it. My first makeup kit at 13 was from my dad (i sold it for cash), lol. All my perfumes back then my dad bought. My Father  was by no means a lau lau wealthty man but he did give me more so than my brothers.

We had one of those reflective adult conversations and my dad explained to me that he knew half of my demands were frivolous and he entertained some of them simply because he never wanted me to be the woman who would grow up asking random men for items. Even my husband I find it hard to ask for a phone talkless of someone I am dating. I never understood that…for me my bargaining power is worth more than a phone and so is my need to be respected.

I hear of how men come and change the entire life of a family based on their daughter’s relationships and I ask myself – so essentially you are pimping out this female child for an improvement of your own lot?

Until women realise that they cannot expect materials goods from men without some kind of exchange, they should not expect to be respected.  Another human being will only buy or attempt to buy you based on how you price yourself in the literal sense of it.

I worry when these “aunty I need a phone” crew start having children especially female ones, what they hope to teach them.

That’s my 50 kobo for the day.

Image Credits: Linda Ikeji


3 Comments on Why Get Angry?

  1. chrisyinks // April 12, 2016 at 05:26 // Reply

    Let me come from another perspective.

    We assume some of these ladies ever had or currently have a functioning family system that caters to their basic needs (food, shelter, appearance needs, internet, health, education etc). Not necessarily so, some of them have had to struggle for their basic daily demands and now that the economy is nosediving, it is more difficult to eke out a dignified living. Oftentimes, we come to a better analysis when we seek for the ‘why or intent’ of an action than when we judge based on our perception of the action itself.

    That said, just like you’ve expounded upon, I think the lady in question has to learn a bit of self-respect to understand that her virtue and self-worth is what she is trading for a measly phone. An unfair transaction for her if I may add, especially when it is with a married man.


  2. Thank you for this post! when I first saw it on LIB my reaction was why will you be expecting somebody to dash you his own phone just like that. when he is not a mumu. if it’s her will she give him her own just because?

    I don’t like this sense of entitlement a lot of people have these days, so because someone likes you, you feel you need to turn the person to your provider? it’s just wrong, how were they surviving before the person came along. people need to really evaluate their lives and stop making selfish demands.


  3. The sad part of this scenario is that this is the present reality for most young girls. I come across young girls still in school but living way above thier means. Clearly they dont have a source of income to maintain their fake lifestyles but who cares anyway. God help us.

    The sense of entitilment they have these days just because…..


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