Yes yes before you say anything I was once single and ever ready to mingle…i saw the post below and I found it a bit disturbing. Women seem to subscribe to the idea that a certain type of behaviour or outlook on life gets you married or married quicker and I sit and think to myself who lied to you?
The babe in the above instagram message believes that her fortune (i say that with loads of sarcasm) came from moving to lekki and jogging on the bridge…and thats how she met a husband.
I love my mother for many obvious reasons- some unobvious ones are the things she taught me that many mothers don’t teach their daughters
1. Dating is a part of life – enjoy it and decide the qualities you think you want in a partner.
2. Sex is normal – the urge is normal, however be selective in the people you chose to sleep with.
3. Abortion is not a form of birth control- protect yourself first and if something goes wrong it can be a last resort after you have reconciled your feelings. Nobody is above mistakes.
My mother never outrightly told me that marriage was a golden goose that would be delivered to me. Rather my mom was more interested in my overall being. I never lied to go on dates, neither did I ever lie about my bf. I dated someone for five years and my mom had his number. I never felt any kind of way saying oh Mother I am going out to xyz with so and so here is their phone number in case. You catch my drift.
Now i look at the Nigerian dating scene and I find a lot of things amiss especially with young women. Marriage is not a prize in gold – many people are unhappy. ..Disney is not real – your husband is your lifetime roomate and woe betide you if you end up with the one that is not compatible with your personality.
I believe many challenges folks face in marriage stems from their dating years. You feel like you can do better than who you married – did you date properly before you got married to understand if that person you are committing to is you cuppa tea or coffee? Or you were just so happy to marry?
Dating and sex are two totally different things. Either or should be within whatever you feel comfortable with – the primary issue with sex is you can confuse or muddle up feelings. However if two adults have consented it, is what it is.
I always look back fondly on my dating years and I smile because I truly had a good time. I have a few horror stories too, but men I had fun. I will entertain you with some stories….
I once got on a 1 hour flight from Dubai to Muscat to go on a date and I ended up not going back home till the next day. Lunch turned into dinner and dinner turned into the club and next thing it was 4am leaving the club and I had to be at work in Dubai for 8am. Lol.
Or the numerous times I put “in a meeting sign” on my office door and went out to brunch. The alcohol fuelled brunches were my favourite in Dubai. Those fridays that one has to work and one admirer is calling your name loud and clear. Lol. The Fairmont, Al Qasr, Yalumba, Mina al salam – I was somewhere every friday 😂
Or the time I agreed to go on a date with a pilot when he told me he had a small plane. Funny thing is I made sure he took me over the long Island sound in NY and we would stop for breakfast and then I would barf the breakfast on the way back. He also would let me fly the plane.
Or one time when I was in Baghdad and one CIA guy liked me a lot and offered to take me to an off base Iraqi restaurant that was by the Saddam arms in the red zone (think danger). I went because of the legendary Mesgouf and the guy said he would allow me shoot his pistol at the firing range.😅. Let’s just say the same guy set up my bicycle that I used to ride around the green Zone complete with bell and basket since I didn’t like walking anywhere.
The thing with dating for me is that its fun. The reason I agreed to a first date with my husband was his suggestion of Japanese food – I love food…good food. And for a whole month we dated over food. I also noticed he didnt leave me much room to date anyone else even if I wanted to…smart guy. And he indulged my cake habits…he was very easy to marry…I had next to no hangups about him at that point. Within three weeks I was like I can marry this guy and 10 months later we were at the Ikoyi registry giggling like fools on my birthday.
How do you view dating? Do you think of it as a fun activity or the lead on to your destiny? Whats the most fun date you have been on? Please share.