I was reading a few different blogs today and I noticed something has been jumping out at me consistently. Women with a low sense of self preservation….and to a large extent I find myself blaming the parents- now whether this is wrong on right – i don’t know but let me state my case.
Look no matter the circumstances, the adults we generally grow into are resultant of our childhoods. Some people saw their mothers abused, some of us are programmed that women don’t need to aspire to being more than housewives or submissive people (submissive really means cooperative within reason but people mistake it for being doormats). Many are taught that marriage is the absolute etc… you catch my drift.
I was raised by a male feminist. …with three brothers – i was always told if they hit you, make sure you beat them up, no one has a right to hit you or insult you. I believe I am far from spoilt, my father more so than my mother put the bulk of his parenting efforts into me. I remember when I called off my first engagement in 2010- when i related my reasons to him- this man asked me if I was crazy and why it took me that long to speak up and get it over with? I was never abused physically or even emotionally – the guy just wasn’t for me in terms of outlook and expectations.
My dad always pushed me from a self esteem standpoint- he always told me I was beautiful, looked nice, extremely intelligent etc. He always listened to what I wanted to do etc. He also always pushed me…i remember when I first started working for a multinational in Iraq, he would tell me how I could rise to being a VP etc. He has never nullified any of my dreams. When I had my last brouhaha with paid employment- he told me to be grateful and that they did me a favour and it would push me to where I needed to be heading.
My dad keeps calling me to find out when I am starting a Phd or a doctorate. He asks if my husband is treating me right- my dad offered to deal with someone who was bothering me when I was in my late 20s. My father never for one day asked me to bring home a husband and he has not asked me about grandkids- he doesn’t even bring it up. And sometimes i think his reinforcement is what turned me into what I am.
My dad is what I consider a male feminist. He invested more of his time raising me as a female child than he did with my three brothers. He has always said never wanted me to be subjected to abuse and to know that if I ever encountered it in any form I could walk away and I do so in good conscience. And that at the end of the day I have a spirit that will not be broken by a man as I can fend for myself financially.
I don’t know if I am crazy – feminism isn’t male bashing it is about women being empowered and preserving theirself. I read all these stories online of women being killed by husband’s, other enduring lives of abuse and I really start to wonder what disservice was done in their parenting years.
As women our fathersare the first men we interact with – how much does it affect us in the long run?
The men aren’t exempt from it either. What kind of men are we raising to be husbands and fathers?
Please share your thoughts.
Winners Wednesday is still HERE