Since I am doing the opinion thing I might as well take a stab at these flying folks or airlines as we call them. For as far back I can remember I have had a reason to “enter” or should I say “climb” plane. That’s possibly one of the few advantages of having parents who don’t come from the same place.
I was watching TV and it brought back memories of my childhood, when a lot of flights were smoking flights. Lol. They had a smoking section and a few times we ended up there due to late purchase of ticket or wonky check in- the only 5 seats together. My dad was quite smart though, in that he rarely ever travelled with us, considering some of the tickets he even used to buy. A few times we went from Lagos to Amsterdam to Curacao to Jamaica to NY and then return trip was the same exact mess. Coming to think about it, myself and my siblings have gone halfway around the world unaccompanied and my parents weren’t paranoid…parenting….
I will describe the airlines as best as I can using cake…since I did ice cream already. Lol.
KLM…my best memories of KLM is Schipol…and my worst memory was always trying to figure out the sh*t they were serving disguised as food. We got very good treatment especially travelling with my mom or unaccompanied. My mom is the woman that looks like everything…even some days Northerners think she is Hausa. So the flight attendants always thought she was Dutch.
KLM…is like coconut cake..you anticipate the taste only to find out there isn’t coconut flakes in it.
Air Jamaica…almost your stereotypical black airline. Usually on time, no real complaints..except sometimes you can’t understand their accents….go figure.
This airline is like Jamaican Rum Cake.
American Airlines….I avoid them unless I am flying in the states. Their food reminds me of frozen food entrees that they warm up before they serve you. And their attendants are older so woe betide you if they think you ask for something you shouldn’t have.
This airline is like cakes and cream Generic vanilla cake.
United Airlines…similar opinion as American Airlines. Funny I have a good friend that works for them and has offered discount tickets and I have flat out refused. He is responsible for west Africa. Not all discounts are worth it in my opinion.
This Airline to me is Queens cake…the type of cake where you are not sure if you are eating cake or bread.
British Airways…old in every sense of it…entertainment is dated, menu is bleh. If not careful a British airways flight longer than 6 hours can leave one suicidal. I kid you not.
Think about this…your cousin just started baking and swears she can make red velvet and then you order it…turns out she just colored a vanilla cake red and yelled Red Velvet. The joke is on you.
Kenya Airways – this airline is another one of your cousins aspiring for a good life, but realises they will fall short somewhat.
This airline is like adulterated but mangeable chocolate cake
Delta – Delta Delta Delta..from where do I start? Take away from the fact that they have direct flights into the US, I can’t find anything good about them. My mom however is getting older and prefers these flights- so I simply avoid travellig with her. One time Delta told us in flight that they couldn’t pump water from Lagos onto the plane because of US regulations. ..i mean come on…only hand sanitiser was in use. I called my friend over at United it wasn’t true- they just felt the water wasn’t clean enough. Hand sanitizer for a 12 hour flight is not it…I am sorry.
This airline is those cakes the hawk in transparent glass cases….aka Hawker cake….you don’t even bother trying to figure out the flavour.
Virgin Atlantic – aahh Virgin Atlantic to me is up there with Emirates. I love the fact that they have premium economy- at least I can treat myself to an upgrade every now and then. With the exception of Emirates, I don’t believe any other airline has better food, service and entertainment.
Virgin is like Ganache (heavy chocolate Ganache). Sometimes the Chocolate is just a little too overwhelming.
South African Airways….these guys are good. Service is good, alcohol is free flowing, food tastes nice. Service is equally impressive.
South African is a good chocolate cake.
Turkish Airlines….Turkish are actually a good airline. Food is tasty, entertainment is ok, and I love Istanbul so I have a bit of a bias.
Turkish is one of those fancy cakes where you order thats chocolate on the inside and has coconut & m&m toppings, liquor etc. Sounds good but till you eat it, you don’t know whats going to overwhelm you.
Egypt Air.…hmmm, hmmm hmmm. Very very disturbing with flight delays, older aircraft and is just not it.
These guys are bread..Agege bread not even cake.
Air France….not a bad airline. Food, service and entertainment seem acceptable. They aren’t bad but they arent exactly top notch either.
Air France is marble cake…nothing spectacular…
Lufthansa….this airline is not bad, but definitely not for everyone. Their food is decent and so is their entertainment. Their service is also decent. The Frankfurt factor though leaves me with much to desire.
Lufthansa is like Cheese Cake when you are lactose Intolerant.
Qatar Airlines…i have a bias towards this airline. While they are very good, their meal options in the past have left quite a bit to be desired. And to a certain extent i had a layover confusion and flight contiuation issue with them. They had no Pescetarian menu to order from while I was excercising my love for seafood.
Qatar is original Red Velvet with real cream cheese frosting.
Emirates…all i can say about these folks is even if you buy economy their service is above average including their Lagos leg. The lagos leg of every airline is probably the worst flight any airline has. Their business class is a dream. I never reach first class yet sha. I gave up on Emirates due to Barotrauma…i couldn’t do the distance anymore and after living in the middle east and moving, “it doesn’t worth” the potential health issues of barotrauma. Did I tell you their lounge is the absolute best? Well in my semi drunkard days- i used to gbadun myself.
Emirates to me is like carrot cake with the right cream cheese frosting absolutely pleasant.
Nigerian Airlines- Arik, Aero, – not even cake these guys are akara. Medview might be sweet sensation akara…a bit more presentable.
I hope your week has been lightened. Not everyday serious. This post was inspired by a 7 hour flight across the pond which may unarguably be one of the worst flights of my life. If not for the fact that my millions have not shown up yet, i wouldn’t use the return British Airways ticket….they are just uninspired as far as I am concerned.