When People Confide…

What do you do when people confide in you on very sensitive matters such as infidelity? Sometimes I get confused as to whether or not to offer any advice, offer comfort or just keep quiet and listen. The older I get I just keep quiet and listen especially if the person in question isn’t quiet close to me. I am also very opinionated,  so it can be hard not to say anything.

Someone told me about a week ago her husband was cheating on her, amd one babe wanted to collect her husband.  I kept quiet and listened, I was very weak because I have met this woman 2x in my life. There are a few things I could have said to her if i truly spoke my mind- but I heard myself saying she should keep praying. In actuality I wanted to say, stop sleeping with him, start living for you (do the things that make you happy…not to be confused with a wayward life). And pay him no mind especially if you know you are not leavig that marriage. But Alas i took the cop out by saying pray to GOD, she will go away.

In circumstances like this i feel like i have failed in my duty to humanity in not speaking the truth, but are these truths worth anything in this society of ours? People share their lives for different reasons, and to be on the receiving end, perception is key. I somehow believe the woman wanted comfort as I noticed she seemed to be losing herself in the midst of the whole thing and that seemed to be my conflict point.

Under these circumstances what would you do if the person isnt close to you? Go ahead and speak your mind or stick to the safe options such as keep praying?

Last call for A Million Dollar Gift

Winners Wednesday is on temporary suspension until further notice…got quite a bit going on and coordinating it feels like work. Please bear with me.



13 Comments on When People Confide…

  1. It’s tough but i’ve noticed that most of the time, there is something people want to hear, some sort of validation they want to get that makes them relate personal stories to people they don’t know well. When your advice isn’t what they want, you become the enemy. Should they kiss and make up with said hubby, you become a bigger and mutual enemy. Of “progress”.

    I’ve learnt not to give advice unless it is very clearly asked for or I am very clearly permitted to. So i’ll console her, stick to the safe options and mumble stuff like it is well.


  2. Especially as I am not married. I ain’t saying nada. Let your bffs and closest confidants tell you.

    If it’s my personal person, #1 is stop sleeping with him and get tested. #2 is decide if you’ll stay or want to walk away. After that decision we can continue from there


  3. Sometimes, that pray for him statement really gets on my nerves. If you come to me with that kinda story I would tell you the honest truth. I’m a very blunt person and I don’t shy away from things that irks me,why would I tell you to pray for a cheating spouse? Be You,the world will definitely adjust.
    When people confide in me with issues like this,I simply give them my opinion but its left to you to make a decision,nobody can do that for you.


  4. First of, I don’t like getting in the middle of people’s personal lives. Even if you’re my close friend I try to stay away, how much more someone I’m not close to. I’ll just smile and tell you to “pray, because there’s nothing God cannot so ni shikena”


  5. I will. Simply tell the person. Protect yourself.

    Then do what makes you happy.

    Pray or curse.


  6. chukwukadibia // September 10, 2015 at 16:10 // Reply

    Aod360,i believe she wanted to hear the hard truth from you,Atimes sugar coating can be seen as being diplomatic,for sha,tell me as it is even though it hurts but of being constructive about the whole thing.


  7. I give very diplomatic answers because I feel everyone ultimately knows the best actions but sseek validation, m working on it though.


  8. Except you are family or a close friend, giving martial advice doesn’t seem like something I would contribute to, even when I get married. Naturally I like minding my business, before my advice would be taken the other way round and it will now end in disaster.


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