There shall be showers of blessings all over us and in our lives. Shout Amen! But I am not here to discuss those types of showers today. I am talking about bridal and baby showers and the new trends with Nigerians. Showers are supposed to be a way for the bride or expectant mother to spend time with her friends before the birth of her child or her wedding. The goal is to bring her tokens or gifts in the said setting and send her off on her journey with well intentioned advice.

Nigerians – yes I said Nigerians are beginning to take the matter too far. People are asking now asking their friends to bring as much as a full tank of petrol equivalent in cash to celebrate the celebrant. While I understand people have themes and all these fashion ideas- we need to cut the shit out. Yes I said shit. Nobody should ever be asked to pay or contribute financially towards a shower. It is off putting.  Better approach is to donate effort or materially towards a shower…what do I mean?

Someone can offer up their home as a venue or pay for a venue. Someone else can offer to decorate, others can offer drinks, cakes etc. The personalised touch is what makes a shower. It also doesn’t leave you resenting the celebrant. If anything it gives the celebrant a better appreciation of those around her. I had two bridal showers depsite not wanting any- i don’t care much for people spending on my behalf..for me its an imposition. Both events were held in homes – both self decorated and self catered. The Lagos one i told the organiser no gifts. .. people’s presence is enough for me. These things are meant to be a send off for the celebrant not a burden on others.

My maid of honor was not able to attend the showers so she opted for a spa day that she organised and fully sorted out by herself…my point being..only people can determine how they want to spend their money. Don’t impose on them.

A friend sent me a message she received from a bride’s sister about the bridal shower and her contribution was to be N10k…while N10k isn’ta lot of money to make anybody rich, its an unnecessary imposition on people..especially when you consider a culture where we have aso ebi and other associated costs of attending weddings. If a certain type of party is important to you the planner or to the bride or celebrant – its not a crime for them to pay for it themselves.

To me it feels more like folks are doing it for the ‘gram and websites which publish these pictures.

Please share your thoughts on the trend wih showers these days. Do you feel folks are not being true to the idea behind showers?

A Turkish couple got married and instead of having a reception with friends and family – they opted to share their day feeding 4000 Syrian refuges….the moment we lose hope in humanity – stories such as this spring up and give us hope…HERE

Winners Wednesday is still HERE

I am have increased the winners to 3 people since I have enough items for 3 people – two other winners will get variations of broaches and earrings. So feel free to enter.

Have a wonderful week…



12 Comments on Showers

  1. This days people do a lot of things for the gram,there are those that can afford it and there are those that can’t but want to follow the trend so they go all out
    The funny thing is when you are told to pay a certain amount of money and you object you are seen as not being supportive
    Instagram has caused more harm than good and am sure that wasn’t the idea behind it but that’s what peer pressure causes


    • But if they can afford it Crimson then just pay for it. If not don’t fuss for people to pay for it.As for Instagram – i see folks making money daily on that platform while others are just showing out makes one wonder.


  2. ‘To me it feels more like folks are doing it for the ‘gram and websites which publish these pictures.’

    That’s it! All for show. The bride or baby should be the focus but most times its not the case. Motives are different now.


  3. while it is a good idea, too many people have forgotten the purpose of a bridal shower. I remember when we organized a shower for a friend, it was supposed to be a small party which close friends so everyone could be free and relaxed to have fun. we decided amongst ourselves on what to contribute, I remember donating my car and fuel for all the running around sef. we communicated everything properly to the bride. lo and behold 2 days to the shower our dear bride decided to send a bc on bbm and watsapp, inviting the whole world for her bridal shower. to say we were shocked was an understatement.

    The one I don’t just understand is the friends asking the groom to pay for the shower. Why? I have heard a lot of reasons but none makes sense to me.


    • Zoe, you are gracious oh? Me i would have sent a message back to the bride letting her know she will have to cater for all those additional people and or just shut down the party. nobody shall send me into gbese because they are getting married.


  4. As in I cannot understand renting of venue, hiring an event planner, hiring decorator on top shower matter.

    Everyone wanting to form posh and things, we don’t even remember how to have true fun.


  5. The things we do all because we want to post it on social media,is what gives us uneccesary stress. Bridal shower is an avenue to show off these days,if you really want to have it done the instagram way then you have to foot the bill Yourself shikena! I won’t pay for aso Ebi n also pay for bridal shower,I’m not earning to be wasteful.


  6. I have a serious problem with people’s weddings and other occasions becoming a burden of everyone who happens to have said hi to thw celebrant at some point in life.
    I don’t think I’ll ever put such burdens on my friends and others. It’s just not on. I want everyone to genuinely be happy and have fun.


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