What’s in a name and how attached are you to yours? I am mid way (ok i exaggerate – i have only changed my passports):? transitioning through the name change process and I tell you it has been a pain in my ass- note do not read that as not loving my husband- there is no correlation.
I was the little girl who’s name sounded like a song…my first name matched my last name- I always promised myself I was not going to change my last name. That stance persisted till my husband and I discussed it. And he let me know it was a big thing for him….
So we reached a compromise, I would change my last name but he had to cover all the expenses and associated demands. Meaning because I am making that sacrifice- you better be treating me extra nice- if i want a business class seat to Abuja to go to passport office type excess – I didnt take too much advantage- just a wee bit. My husband did the newspaper name change in August 2014, I didnt change any of my passports till May 2015. I changed my email – name portion in January though. I haven’t changed my bank accounts, or any other documentation for that matter…😅
Now Imagine my surprise when someone I knew as “Tokunbo Chizoba Smith” for instance is now “Tokunbo Babatunde Ngozi” – as with all things Facebook i started to investigate. I now found out her husband is “Babatunde Ngozi” and I was sitting there thinking, they say take his last name, but please why do some people take on their husband’s identity? Is the middle name your parents gave you no longer adequate? Or they are just really happy to be married? But I am equally happy to be married too😆
I remember when i was shown my name change before it was to go to the newspapers and they obliterated my middle name and replaced it with my husband’s first name. I had to ask if I was a bastard, 😇 because I do remember my parents giving me names- you have already taken the surname, you want to take my middle name too? Mbanu – before husband I was someone’s child, before husband I had a career that I did extremely well at. I still sign many of my documents with a hypenated name – just because people see the new name and don’t realise its me.
Even though my father has 3 male children- for me my maiden name was and is still a big part of my identity. Hypenating both names legally would have been too long and some battles aren’t really worth fighting.
Please what are your thoughts on not just a surname change but the adapation of the husband’s first and last name? I am curious because this seems to be very Nigerian. My mother only took my fathers last name- and his first name is not in any of her names.