Celebration Before Accomplishment

In life, we often celebrate after we have achieved a milestone of some sort. We have a baby – we celebrate safe delivery, graduation etc. You get my point. So what is the one thing we celebrate before we accomplish anything in it? Drumroll – marriage.

We celebrate marriage before we spend a day in it. We have elaborate celebrations – especially in this culture (Nigeria), families are willing to expend significant resources to celebrate this non-achievement. Why? What exactly is the celebration about? Is it about the unknowing misery some people are signing up for? Someone stated during a conversation that only 1 in 10 marriages in Nigeria in the 40 and under generation is actually healthy and thriving- I would have placed the number more at 5 in 10. But what do I know?

I am not quite sure what i am asking or how to even phrase the questions. What is wrong with marriage and what is right with it? Is it an issue of expectations and managing them or is it a case of a more enlightened generation? Or is it a case of priorities?  Or too much Disney and romantic flicks?

That giveaway is still HERE



14 Comments on Celebration Before Accomplishment

  1. If you ask me, na who I go ask?

    Women have gotten empowered, thanks to the economy that allows them work and earn money. Some don’t know how to manage success. Boss lady at work becomes boss lady at home.

    Selfishness and cheating. Why hurt someone who has pledged their life to you just because there’s this pleasure you can’t say no to? This applies to both sex.

    Unforgiveness, intolerance, lack of understanding, foolishness, envy, covetousness, pride, etc I could go on…..


    • *economy that demands they work and earn money as extra support for the homes. This applies to singles and married.


    • ikoya adewale // July 29, 2015 at 19:56 // Reply

      enjay yaff nailed it with big hammer!….i’ont think there’s more to it


    • So its equally shared responsibility for the breakdowns then Enjay? Or is it because women are becoming empowered and are less inclined to be more tolerant as they climb the corporate ladder or exposure?

      I know for certain I am less tolerant of my husband’s shortcomings than my mom is of my dad’s for instance…


  2. Lohla's Melange // July 28, 2015 at 11:07 // Reply

    What Enjay said…


  3. I think the married ones are in the best position to answer this question. Enjay made some interesting points though.


  4. Where are all the married people,y’all should let us know sup


  5. Interesting!
    For me, I begin to celebrate my birthday before it’s my birthdate. I celebrate my children when it’s not a special day. I get what you’re saying though but I believe it’s the fear of the 22nd century marriage that’s in the minds of people now to make us begin to even ask these questions in the first place.
    But to answer your question, there is nothing wrong with marriage. It’s a beautiful thing. It’s just that life itself has its distractions and complications, things that take our love away from why we first wanted, why we first loved.
    Life itself is a distraction. Heaven is the ultimate reward.


  6. Chrisyinks // July 29, 2015 at 00:51 // Reply

    The statistics of recent marriages in the current times are grim. A number of factors are responsible for this – Buki and Enjay have made valid points on this. I believe one of the fundamental causes of increased failed marriage is a lack of maturity in understanding what marriage is. I also want to believe that we are in the end times as such the easiest way to attack a country or a society by the devil is to attack its basic unit – family.

    As for what is right with marriage, that’d be hard to tell cuz most successful marriages do not reveal their success recipe (as it should be). I’d say this though – if both spouses are matured in Christianity then everything is right with such marriage.

    Celebration should be every time, only just amplified when there is a notable accomplishment. It is just sad that most people mistake a wedding reception for the real marriage.


    • ikoya adewale // July 29, 2015 at 19:54 // Reply

      its in the reception people feel something is really happening, cos na that time food dey show… pretty sure even the successful marriages crossed some hurdles before they are being tagged successful


    • Chrisiyinks – well said and very insightful. A friend recently said there are a lot of children masquerading as Adults in today’s society. Maybe a lot of us aren’t emotionally mature for marriage but when we reach a certain age we run off and get married.


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