At What Age Should Your Daughter Get Married?

I am asking at what age should women, not girls but women get married? I ask the question because the more i see, the more i question. I was reading the morning news as usual and I noticed that Nigeria’s incoming first lady has asked that girls no younger than 18 essentially shouldn’t be considered for marriage. I have a few thoughts following my reading the article..not directed to her per say, but just my thoughts.
Girls need to at least finish secondary school first -her primary position. Under the current Nigerian constitution i do not believe there is a marriage age – correct me if i am wrong, but it is said that once a girl sees her first menstrual period – she becomes a woman. I dispute this categorization obviously, because it is simply the beginning of blossoming into a woman. A 10 year old is not by any standards a woman – not emotionally, not psychologically and not physically either.
Please what is the allure for marrying a 12 year old? There are many 18 year old virgins, so why aren’t these people willing to wait? Culturally in Nigeria, it is mostly the Northerners that marry girls under 16. What is the significance of a young wife? Is it prescribed by Islam? I ask because i don’t know of any Yoruba Muslims that marry off their daughters at 12. Is the bride price significant enough for you to put your child at risk of a plethora of health problems such as Fistulas or even death?
Do people not understand that for every disadvantaged woman or mother, you have more disadvantaged children? A mother who doesn’t know better cannot teach her children any better. I once heard from the founder of LAPO “for every poor man, there is a poorer wife and even poorer children”- because most times the mother is generally responsible for the well being and education of her children – not necessarily from a financial standpoint even, but daily care and influence. It is likely your mother was more involved in your daily life than your father as a child. I know that was the case for my siblings and I.
Given the level of poverty in Nigeria on the whole, does an empowered woman not make for a better spouse or partner?
I commend Mrs. Buhari for speaking up, there should be clear boundaries for marriage in terms of age. Eighteen – albeit a bit young is the legal age of adulthood generally accepted globally. It gives girls a chance to be better educated and be better able to serve themselves and their families.
Now lets just hope the new National Assembly members have not been busy marrying 13 year olds, and they can pass this into law soonest.
The Western World has also done a lot of hammering on the Girl Child in places like Northern Nigeria, did you know we have a boy child problem in Eastern Nigeria? This is conversation for another day….
What are your thoughts on the legal marriage age for Nigerian women? For me, i would not advise my female child to get married before 28, however if she chooses to, i can only pray for her and wish her the best. Forget about the biological clock argument, there are ways around that – its an issue of maturity and ownership of her woman hood and growing into herself. It also gives her a chance to make career decisions if she so chooses. Marriage is a long term commitment, i got married in my early 30’s and i can imagine if my husband and I live till we are 90, that’s 60 years tied to the same person… its a very long time if you ask me.
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I will allow my daughter get married when she’s done with tertiary institution and started working.
Sounds like my dad, if you don’t have anything going for you don’t even think of marriage,he says.
That’s wisdom
Awesome. Wouldn’t leave her at the mercy of any man
Ms pynk I totally agree with you…i think anything less than 28 isnt just matured enough n it will give you more time for your career but the thing is most people that get married at 18 or so hardly have career goals some people just want to be wives and mothers
My daughter wont have to reach 28 to marry thou if she feels shes ready when the time comes but she will definitely be thru with uni and everything in-between
Good point you made, though things are fast evolving we have young girls of in their early 20s, accomplished and well travelled( if that makes for achievement). If such a lady finds someone and wants to settle down I don’t think she should be held back
But don’t you think that 28 is rather much. Menopause is real, and it would be kinda late to start then. Maybe 3 years younger?
Y’all should chill on this biological clock thing na, we know we don’t want u reminding us
But its the truth. Needs to be told
Well, I think marriage is a big deal. 18yr old girls today still have alot to learn. So I personally think 23yrs is a good age for a girl to marry. At least at that age to a very large extent, she should be able to make proper choices.
A life commitment is a big deal, so it is. But anytime in the 20s is not bad
Yeah. 20s
An awful lot.
Ok, this just happened in my office right now. I’m currently reading this page and a colleague sees it. We haven’t even gone far in d reading o. We are still at the part of the 10 year old and this idiot says he doesn’t really have a position on a 10 year old getting married. He says it can be argued on whether it’s right or wrong. Imagine the shock on our faces! I thank God for my other colleague who told him off immediately.
I thought this only happens among illiterates, this guy schooled in the UK for Christ sake. We had to walk him out of our office. God knows I still feel like punching him in the face. We really have a long way to go in this country.
Errm if it’s not perversion sef, I can’t imagine how a grown man will be with a girl young enough to be his daughter and not feel guilty. SMH for ur colleague , you ought to have asked him how he would react if a man of say 35yrs wants to marry his 12yrs old daughter .
It should be irritating. Really
Downright nauseating, no reason to justify it.At all
It shouldn’t even be a subject of discussion
The fact that he schooled in the UK doesn’t mean a thing,he may still have some ‘interesting’ ideas of how men and women should behave
Schooling abroad doesn’t guarantee common sense
Its true. The talks of common sense is not common
Being abroad might just expose you to some things. Might
He really should be told off.
Zoe maybe he is just hoping to get a reaction out of you guys
LOL. Maybe
Errr that’s just…IDK.
I would have to be there to make the best judgement
Although there are ladies who married in their early 20s and it worked for them, I believe so much in mutual consent and I think my daughter will get married when she’s old enough to consent to an offer that’s just saying nothing less than 18 but sometime in her 20s as decided by her.
The fact that my own parents do not really consent to getting married before graduating doesn’t mean I won’t though.
Different folks…
Mutual consent. Valid!
Simple as that!
Yeah
No argument, NO NEVER, not in a million years.
Bless!!
Yea, for every sensible parent /person
Keyword is SENSIBLE
To me once she through with her tertiary education,she is good to go.
Yeah. That’s the yardstick
Putting the age of consent into the bracket of consideration, its okay
I think women mature and become more responsible faster than men. My daughter will be encouraged to finish uni before considering any marriage proposals.
My son will be discouraged from getting married until he is fully independent and has the resources to be responsible for 3 mouths. Might be closer to 30 for him.
Yes. The man would head the house
Good point especially abt the male child, so much pressure is put on the girl-child. While the guys are free to do all they like.
LOL. Take it as an honour
The mistake people make in marrying out kids tho’. I fail to see the rationale behind such
I don’t think i’ll ever understand the rationale behind it.
Me neither
For me I believe a woman should finish school as in university,and have a good job before contemplating marriage
I subscribe to that school of thought
I am not going to leave her at the mercy of a man,mba oh. One of the worst things to happen to a married woman is to be dependent on a man.
I love this
I think 25 is a good age. Of course she must have something going for her, educationally and financially.
Yes. And that age guarantees emotional stability likewise
Imagine! That guy should be slapped, punched and locked up in a psychiatric facility
Sorry. What guy again?
10years! They’re babies. Children who know nothing.
Schooling in the Uk does not guarantee common sense. Paedophiles re everywhere o..
Some people still think like this o. That’s why we still have sick people raping children everyday.
Pedophiles are everywhere and stricter measures should be put in place for them. They are downright disgusting