I am Like You? Yes or No?

Is there such a thing as a pure race or pure tribe anymore? The answer to this is pretty obvious, at least it seems so to me. However, lets still have a dialogue. Look at yourself or even your neighbor, how many people do you know that have two parents from the same exact race? Plenty you say, lets try those with two parents from the same exact ethnic group, you can still find some, how about those who have two parents from the same exact village? You see how much more interesting it gets.

I dont understand where the practice of hatred comes from. I am back to the xenophobia matter. I grew up in a household with two parents that are as different as day and night. From looks to cultural beliefs to even general attitudes. My mom thinks we are home girls and she calls me “miss OAD”, my father on the other hand i must say Sir to. I say “whats up” to my mother and i say “good morning sir” to my dad. My mom  swears a grilled cheese sandwich is appropriate as a meal, my dad thinks its an appetizer to be followed up by amala with ewedu. My mom stil tried to offer me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when i went to visit her this weekend- in this same Lagos that traffic drains all your energy. I cant bellyful on that one now! Haba! You get my point,  I grew up in a very unassuming environment; many things were fair game with the exception of not stealing, not lying and respect for everyone else.

So how do people find space to hate anybody? In recent times some top Nigerians have called for retaliation against South Africans. The South Africans have temporarily closed their Nigerian Mission due to fear of retaliatory attacks. Another Doctor who was erroneously granted a visa by the United States Embassy who currently resides in Texas- Dr. Abraham Ariyo called for attacks on Igbos after the Lagoon Speech. Forgetting he himself is a migrant where he currently lives.  Please feel free to sign the petition against him. The South Africans are still attacking any and every foreigner in their path.

All that said are people to forget so quickly the effects of slavery? Or is it Hitler and world war two? Do we not learn? The primary people that benefit from wars are the arms manufacturers. Nobody else. when we fight ourselves based on ethnicity, race, religion etc – it never ever ends well. What do we stand to gain? Aren’t we all alike in one way or another? What is with the classification anyways? Maybe because i have never had the luxury of placing myself in a box, what gives?

We can define nationalities and ethnicity all we want, but purity has been racing out of the window for centuries and it continues to beg the question of whata are we really on about?

I have people who ask me if I am Igbo – i don’t get offended, i have people who think i am fulani, i dont get offended either. I have been asked if i was Mexican before. Let me see if i can even explain my mom is  is black (slave), mixed with caucasian (german irish), Indian (Arawak), Arab ( Lebanese Syrian) and my dad is Nigerian Yoruba. What does that look like? It looks like me and my siblings. I wonder sometimes if i am going to tell my children anything outside of them being Nigerian and possibly American. Unfortunately or fortunately for me, i married a man who has a Black (Nigerian & Ghanian) mixed with Caucasian ( Scottish) and Latino (Spanish) and a Nigerian father (Edo), so is there anything to tell my kids? One of my brothers is married to a black and south American Indian lady (in theory, his sons are technically 1/4 Nigerian)- but what do you tell the kids? Another one of my brother is married to a half Nigerian half anglo Indian Lady- what should he tell his kids? Another brother is married to someone who is one quarter Italian and other parts Nigerian, what do you tell the kids? I proudly say it, my family is like a mini United Nations – it leaves very little room for judgement of anyone based on anything ourside of character. I know many such people, i have met half Nigerian- half South Africans, half Malaysians etc. Christian and Muslims parents, Igbo and Yoruba parents etc.

Is it possible for such people to practice hatred? Hatred against who? In my opinion, the world has gone global, people should stop getting left behind in their life practices. The world is moving forward, the room for hatred is very small, peope shoud stop growing  the gap. Its not necessary. Let learn to teach our children self-love so they dont hate themselves and in turn end up redirecting that hate at others. Do not encourage your children into boxes, lest they get life behind by the rest of the world.

Hatred is for Pansies, be a winner and start practicing love, it doesn’t cost a damn thing.

ASUS Notebook PC – X55OCA SI3. The person with the highest number of comments total for the week wins the computer. Odds of winning are higher if you comment on every post this week April 20 to April 25 2015 midnight. Goodluck to everyone. Item will be picked up either in Ikoyi or Victoria Island.




39 Comments on I am Like You? Yes or No?

  1. christabel // April 24, 2015 at 11:27 // Reply

    Seriously love don’t cost a thing but determination and tolerance is the key. The way some people are determined to hate they should also try to chaneel that determination to love and let’s see how it goes (Saul later became Paul)…I go by the name LIAWN (Love is all we need)


  2. I read somewhere that babies are not born hating anyone. They are taught to hate!! This is so true. I sometimes wonder about those who go about preaching hate or displaying violence all because someone thinks differently from you or is different. I know that I can’t be influenced by someone’s hatred because I think for myself. Is it peer pressure or wanting “belong” that makes people act the way they do? Cos I know some of these violent people are better than this. They just have the herd mentality which is scary as hell!!


    • peace ogune // April 25, 2015 at 11:33 // Reply

      parenting parenting and god upbring very important. listen how come when u hear of protest fights and killings ethnic problems it always the poor just think poor people are the victims or targets


  3. Hatred comes from the mind and when you feed it,it will grow. Woke up this morning and I haven’t spent five minutes being awake,someone pissed me off. What should I do? I just over looked it because I have learnt to ignore things that don’t bring money or won’t add to my intellect. When you choose to hate on your fellow human,this is what happens. Hatred runs deep in some people’s vein and its a pity they can’t do anything about it even if they try to. You can never go wrong with love even if they don’t love you back,There’s a feeling you have, knowing you are at peace with people around you.


  4. Dhope pearl // April 24, 2015 at 14:43 // Reply

    What can i say.unlike ur own description am just nigerian with both parent frm imo.the fact still remains love in d heart of men.wen there is no love .excuses arise frm different areas.for example:if i dont like you,to make it look ok to d rest of d world i will giv excuses lyk;i dont lyk d way he dress,look.he iz to lazy and d rest.if we just love each other nd understand evryone the way they are.then we are good to go.#SAYNOTOXENOPHOBIA.WEAREONE#


  5. I really don’t understand how people rationalize their hate for people.

    my parents are from 2 different parts of naija, 2 of my siblings are married to non nigerians, my other sis is married to an awesome man from yet another culture in naija. All my life, i have only known good and bad people. If you are shitty you do not get a pass because we share any similarities (not even blood). If you are awesome you do not get dinged because we are not from the same state.

    I remember my ex finally owning up to his family (parents, aunts, uncles) telling him he can’t marry a non igbo girl especially since he’s the 1st son. (keep in mind my mother is igbo). What can an igbo girl do that another human being cannot do? Me i no fit fight for this kind love oh. Na so i carry my bag of 4 years waka quick quick. A man without a spine is a worthless human being.

    Some people are just broken, immature, insecure, failures, puppets, confused and they will always find something or someone to lash out on for all of their problems.


    • I so agree with u about spineless men. I know a village in Anambra that their 1st sons must marry from their village. I don’t get such crap especially when people say don’t marry from so and so tribe. Funny enough, we have a little bit of xenophobia in 9ja especially amongst Igbos and Yorubas. So sad!!


      • Hahahahaha. Funny enough dude is from Anambra. lol

        The Yoruba and Igbo drama is clearly from Biafra. The civil war needs to be part of our history. It needs to be taught in schools, we need to understand the cause of the war. The good and the bad coming out of the war. Only then do i see the healing process beginning.


    • peace ogune // April 24, 2015 at 16:08 // Reply

      we should just thank God for our upbringing they are kids that were raised to hate anyone outside their tribes. in-fact you know how u try to get your dads attention by being naughty? there’s was stabbing an infidel doll in the groin.


    • peace ogune // April 25, 2015 at 11:49 // Reply

      hate is not born it is taught pls read my lasts post.


  6. What i will stress on this issue is that ignorance has become a major impact of everyone’s act, thinking and living. I’ll give an example, in our country as a whole there is a total misconception and foul belief of one another which bears unhealthy relationships and faults the way the major trbes and ethnic groups react or relate to one another; in the north they hold mindset of a foul, dubious and especially intolerant behaviour of the easterner and southerer. Meanwhile, an easter believes a notherner is sadistic, savaging, ruthless and petty. On the other hand, the westerner thinks the easterner is stingy, extorting and selfish. The easterner assumes the westerner is proud, sly, and like money more than he does.
    With all this jargon roaming the mind of anyone then how will you develop a healthy relationship or conversations or let alone live together in harmony and have hate-free dealings?
    Ignorant of your neighbor but you think you already know him because he is a Hausa man or a Yoruba man, or an Ibo man. Whoever said we all came from different origins?


  7. peace ogune // April 24, 2015 at 16:21 // Reply

    well I was most bewildered about the doctor
    somebody said something totally rude about some people and everyone is so upset. ok people should only say cool things about people right? or pls I am asking is it that the guy mis-jived that made his OPINION [which he expressed in a private message] so painful or is it because it was a tribal statement and if it is, then we are all guilty of the same crime we all get to say shit everyday against other tribes but in our privacy.


  8. It’s been a while. Let me start by saying nice look. I love the new look. Your family tho, smiles @ I proudly say it, my family is like a mini United Nations.

    As far as we are created by one God, we are brothers and sisters. Tribe, religion and colour shouldn’t be a barrier.
    Nice post you got here, wish i could win the computer.


    • peace ogune // April 25, 2015 at 11:52 // Reply

      people who are born of God always think everyone on earth is ther brother but people born of the devil don’t think so. eg bokoharam


  9. i cannot fathom such hate that would lead you to maim and kill a fellow human being. Its sad that we forget that we are all here for a season and a reason. To take a life you cannot give is beyond absurd. Tribes, culture, nationalities do not erase the fact that we are human.


  10. Ikoya adewale // April 24, 2015 at 20:06 // Reply

    The major point I could dig is that we are really slow as Africans in moving with the world


    • peace ogune // April 25, 2015 at 11:55 // Reply

      because African don’t have a sense of oneness. the only time we share a sense of oneness is when a white man says we aint noting then all black people will shout racism but after that we would rather attend a white event with no blacks entry


  11. Ikoya adewale // April 24, 2015 at 20:07 // Reply

    And as for oga DR. Well it only tells us how some people had a one sided growth, in this case his was only educational


  12. Ikoya adewale // April 24, 2015 at 20:15 // Reply

    about marriages between people from the same geographical area, that will be a problem that will haunt us for quite some time especially with the high rate of illiteracy and uncivilisation in this part of the world…. I say it will haunt us for quite some time because it has become part of the some cultural norms that parents pass on to their children especially when history has it that their was once conflict between particular tribes, the hatred just blossoms…..


  13. Ikoya adewale // April 24, 2015 at 20:18 // Reply

    The south African government hasn’t done enough to curb this xenophobia issue as far as am concerned and that’s why nations whose citizens of have been attacked are keen on retaliation… . Even the U. S I’m sure would have made the same move even though they are also guilty of a special kind of xenophobia


    • peace ogune // April 25, 2015 at 11:58 // Reply

      every single thing of this nature is orchestrated by the USA just believe me, those guys have their propaganda in every xenophobic pie.


  14. Ikoya adewale // April 24, 2015 at 20:21 // Reply

    The south African government hasn’t done enough to curb this xenophobia issue as far as am concerned and that’s why nations whose citizens of have been attacked are keen on retaliation… . Even the U. S I’m sure would have made the same move even though they are also guilty of a “special kind of xenophobia”


  15. Special kind of xenophobia ===>>> killing of unharmed blacks in its country by its policemen


  16. Christian Best // April 24, 2015 at 22:22 // Reply

    We are all the same!
    Ignorance has abused the minds of men.
    Several devilish, unreasonable and wicked traditions have made man to hate his fellows.

    I believe in that no matter what situations, we are to love another!
    Let Love Lead!


  17. Beautiful piece @ Oyinda. You touched very salient issues which we must continue to talk about and also preach to our children and the younger generation.

    We are not born to hate, we learn to hate.
    Love is such an easy concept we just keep complicating it with mediocrity and loads of silliness.

    A million like @ my family is like a mini United Nations.


    • peace ogune // April 25, 2015 at 12:00 // Reply

      it is indeed a wonderful peace. we have a lovely OAD that seems to hide her prettiness from blog. mmmmm


  18. Christian Best // April 24, 2015 at 22:26 // Reply

    The Zulu King made a Statement, maybe out of annoyance or something else… But the ignorant people start all of sudden killing their fellow human, fellow Africans, Their Brothers and sisters.
    The fact is that, these people are Ignorant.
    Xenophobia won’t be there if you don’t give a space in your heart.
    You won’t think of killing your brothers if your heart is filled with live for them.
    Let Love Lead!


  19. We keep preaching love but rarely show it… Hopefully this will change from May 29


  20. Whether we look alike or come from the same place, peaceful co habitation is key


  21. There is a part of my family that has french,german and british in it, Iam an igbo girl both parents from the same state.


  22. Too much energy directed to hating one another when a fraction of it is needed to love.
    I have to say your family sounds beautiful,even though my parents are of the same tribal orientation the same can’t be said of both their extended family .
    we’ve uncles and aunties married to people from around the country and it’s no biggie, the only thing I think I need to adjust my psych to is marrying outside the African continent. I’m not been racist, I don’t know sha
    But the main thing is if it happens that way all is to accept the other person as HUMAN,,not black, white or mixed.
    Embracing diversity is the key!


  23. Wow….i love your family already…. We need more love in the world today that cnt b overemphasised
    So much energy spent on been hateful
    And the issue of marriage and tribe I just cnt comprehen
    As far as there’s love everything will work out i believe


Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.