On Wednesday, I decided to go out of my house. Yes I was stuck at home working for almost a whole week.. its not easy to make money, and I finally submitted the work to the client on Tuesday this week. Now to the matter at hand. I decided to venture out into the bad Lagos world, to go attempt being a lady. I got to the Osborne “traffic Light”/ yellow fever junction. I was driving my husband’s jeep and I even knacked sunglasses and “errthang”. That’s how yellow fever came to hustle me, the guy was shouting aunty Yellow. He now had the nerve to say “I yellow like you before, but sun do me like this”. Haba blasphemy of the highest degree. I only had my allotted spending for the day, so I had to use sense to tell the guy “bros I dey come”.
Upon leaving I first went to thread my eyebrows and remove my moustache. This exercise cost me N2,500 at O3 spa in Victoria Island. Then I went on to Hair Limited – Victoria Island t for my manicure and Pedicure – N4,500.
Thank God I had the foresight to buy veet hair remover from London for 7 pounds and it lasted three months, if not my home waxing lady charges N5,000 for waxing the lady parts and underarms and half leg. This bill is already at N11,500. No toiletries and I haven’t done my hair yet. When I braid my hair, easily N5k unless I enter Onikan, maybe N3k. Thank God I don’t know how to “fix” human hair, if not that would have been added gbese. And oh I don’t buy pancake (makeup) on a monthly basis. Shout out to women who bleach also, because the effective bleaching creams are expensive.. my own yellow is free and cheap. Aah then add the cost of eyelashes and some other randoms.
By my estimation, the average Nigerian woman that is employed spends easily N15,000 a month on grooming. Many people wear weaves and do them monthly. Now I understand why some people wash their hair once a month or even once in 2 months. How can you pay N5,000 for two packs of chocolate hair and then N3k to fix it and take it out in 2 weeks because you want clean hair. To hell with clean hair. And if you have Beyonce tendencies, your beauty bill is at a minimum N50,000 per month without clothes. Hmm.. maybe that’s why there are so many naturalistas around? Even that one isn’t cheap, because you have to buy curling crème and other hair products that cost more than damn food. Only ori aka shea butter doesn’t work; I would know, I have tried that stuff by itself.
To the men that wonder why women don’t want t date broke men, as you have seen, looking good is good business. So if you want Beyonce, you better have Beyonce money or be damn well ready to subsidize that bill. Many women have moustaches – we have to remove them. Some of us are even unfortunate enough to have “bear bear” and chest hair to boot. So what gives? If we don’t groom, men will complain.. we groom..the bill is hefty. Who is winning in all this? Definitely the people who are providing these services.
Me I need a miracle as I am, I need a spa day.. I am sorry but grooming is expensive and its not very relaxing after all the money you spend. I wonder if I went a year without grooming and paying for beauty services how much I would save, and what I would look like.
Do share you grooming bill with us and how you creatively manage it; if you are able to. The most creative comment gets N3,000 phone credit. Also leave your network of choice along with your comment.