Things i Did in no particular order
1. I decided to have a minimal role in the planning of the traditional marriage. This decision was great, until the tail end i got dragged in and ended up in a big fight with hubstar. I felt like i was between my husband and my father. In hindsight, the traditional was a big waste of money. Imagine, the alaga started the event 4 hours late, i didnt even eat, half of the guests from Abuja had left by the time we danced etc. if i was to make the decision again, a palour/living room event would have been ideal.
2. I spent less than N150,000 on 3 outifts along with accessories for the traditional. Good decision. Not worth anything more.
3. The decision to go away for the formal. One of my best decisions in life. And considering i lost my brother in law exactly a month after, i am glad he went out with that bang before he went to meet Jesus.
4. I love my wedding dress, vera wang and all. Minus my jewelry which i had purchase since 2007, this was by far my most expensive wedding purchase. I could have lived out my dream for something simpler and a fraction of the cost.
5. My husband and i love Japanese food, it was an awesome japanese buffet for the formal. We couldnt have pulled this off in Nigeria.
6. The choice not to have bridal train was awesome, stress free. My one maid decided to get a funky tan before hand. Lol. It didnt quite disrupt anything, she just opted to have her hair done down.
7. I should have packed my own makeup and done it myself. No to white people doing wedding makeup.
8. Should have just rented the speakers for the reception instead of paying the dj. Lol. The best man turned himself into a dj.
9. After the blessing portion of the ceremony we had no order of service for the recption. I totally loved this. Only an opening prayer. Everyone began to eat, we cut our cake and gave our thank you speech and had our first dance Mother and son, father daughter etc. after that we opened the dance floor and then we went to eat. My dad and father in law were doing the shoki by the time we started eating.
10. Paying a credible photographer for photos and albums. I am still struggling to build our albums. We have digital copies of all the pictures from our events, but i am still sorting through. As you can tell its not a priority for me.
11. I wish i had Taken more scenic pictures in Zanzibar with my husband before the wedding in our outfits.
12. Prewedding pictures…..our inverter caught fire the day we took these after enough deliberation. We ended up not even using the pictures.
13. I did all the decor for the formal. Well worth it as we spent less than $200 on all the decor and touches for a 60 guest wedding.
The thing i have realised about weddings is we often barely remember them but we are guilted into spending so much money on them and focusing our damn resources on them that we often fail to realise thats where the fairy tale actually ends. Reality sets in for most right after.
I do want a vow renewal for the fifth year though. Maybe bora bora.
My point is there is no such thing as a perfect wedding, so no point in killing oneself.