Absolutely Random

So on playing catch up with the news this morning, it appears as though first world problems are really just that. How do you explain Japan one of the most dynamic and prosperous nations so to speak complaining about population decline? And countries like Nigeria are having serious issues with population control and birh deaths? I wont bore you with the statistics.

I sit and i think  about it, i have people in my age bracket still having 4 kids. My parents had 4 kids and honestly 4 was a crowd. I am 3 years older than my immediate younger brother and i am child number 2. I remember holidiays at random. Meaning whenver my mom was travelling it didnt have to be summer, my older brother and i went along so long as it wasnt school time. I remember GRA ikeja – kingsway and leventis shopping. I remember having rainboots to match my raincoat and umbrella. I remember  lunches at Mandarin Chinese resturant and sheraton ikeja on saturdays, sundays etc. I love my two younger brothers, but life changed when they came along.  Gratefully our quality of education remianed the same but travel, family time etc sort of declined. My husband likewise is from a family of 5 kids, he is the 4th child. Similar experiences, his was traumatic as he was already used to being mommys baby and a baby showed up when he was 8.

My point is this, consider a middle class middle income household with two working parents. You want a decent life, wife makes n5 million for the year, husband makes n7 million. Thats n12 million annually . Lets give them a convenient lifestyle – meaning no 3 hour commute  from Ajah to VI daily. So let say they find somewhere decent to rent in lekki a 3 to 4 bedroom,  thats about n3 million per year. Add diesel or a service  charge which is easily another  n1 million. So thats n4 million. The average decent school where you will feel comfortable with your child even daycare is a minimum of about n80,000 to n150,000 per month. So i will give an averge of about n1.2 million per child for the year – uniform etc included. Now these are not ikoyi Corona or St. Saviours fees oh. So lets say you have 3 children, thats n3.6 million. So thats n7.6 million out of n12 million. Oh we havent paid taxes from the salary, i forgot that. We havent paid the nanny or housekeeper, neither have we paid for the driver or fuel or car maintenance. At the end of all these expenses, its a wonder if folks even  have anything left for summer.

My point is this, at this point the “educated ”  folks should  reason that a child is a child right? Male or female? If you have 3 girls already, why the trying for a boy? Likewise you have two boys, will a girl make a difference? So you now end up looking around helter skelter to care for these kids and end up short changing them. Many times we say we want to give our kids the best, but is this true? Especially in a country like Nigeria? If its not a multiple birth situation,  a 3 child cap should be put on Nigerians.

My next rant, all these  blogs and instagram accounts that claim to be doing give aways and list multiple criteria- God is watching you in 3D. If you really want to give something away give it away in a simple way. Dont go asking people to follow you, your grandkids and all your ancestors on instagram and facebook, flickr , twitter etc. Likewise many people have private profiles, they dodnt want to show their whole life to the world, but you are asking them for likes? I generally dont like to announce giveaway winners, i just dont feel it is necessary. Give and move on, contact your chosen winner privately. All this horse and dog show pomp and pagentry because  you are giving out something.

Sorry i just had to. Hope Lent is coming along for you? If not life in general? If not, simply think Sunny on the inside and bringing  the happy.



13 Comments on Absolutely Random

  1. I concur with you that 3 children is agreeable to the middle class family and upwardly mobile family. 3 Children is also my desired number of children except my intending wife says something else. Some parents generally love children and like having them in large numbers without quantifying the financial implications. And truly, life isn’t always about finances.

    I believe Japan places a lot of emphasis (care, concern) on its elderly population which although good and noble has its not-too-good consequences since these part of the population aint concerned with reproduction.

    Blogs and Sites that do giveaways with much fanfare don’t necessarily do it in the spirit of ‘giving’, they do it to meet up with some CSR targets and be classified as a responsible member of the society else they risk losing commenters, viewers, being called greedy etc


  2. I always said I wanted only 1 child, because I know how hard it was for my parents to look after their 5 (twins unplanned, lol!). But the older I get, and now with my boyfriend, I’ve changed my opinion and decided maximum of 2. I want my children to grow up with a lot of the hippy ways I did as a child, all the random experiences that the typically Naija kids didn’t have, and I want even more for them. I can’t provide all that, in addition to my time (wannabe stay at home mummy for pre-school years), to too many children so…


  3. This is what I keep telling people. 2 kids or at most 3 kids. And go on a family planning method. Its difficult giving ur kids d good things of life nowadays cos everything is so expensive bt salary is not increasing .


  4. While i agree with you guys on having fewer kids because of economic reasons, it could be really boring for the kids. i have one brother and i spent the first 15 years of my life praying for more siblings. it was really boring growing up in a GRA with just one sibling. But then we need to make the best decisions for ourselves.


  5. I was simply amazed when my childhood friend ( we r in our early 30-ies) told me she wants 5 Kids. ( she has 3 already) and wants two more.

    I can’t deal o. My hubby wants one and I want two. The 2nd one hasn’t been easy. I just can’t imagine my self going for a 3rd baby. I’d just cry from month 1 to 9. It’s ain’t easy.

    Things are darn to expensive puleasse.


  6. When I remember I no longer change nappies or wake up to feed baby at night,I just feel like a Queen. Honestly it’s not easy. Nothing is cheap anymore. Have you heard the outrageous fees they charge for preschool in naija these days? The fear of school fees is the beginning of wisdom for me abeg.


  7. I want only 2 children then later on wen they are grown will adopt a child by God’s grace. This economy doesn’t encourage large size, everyone needs to be wise and leave sentiments aside.


  8. Zoe

    Its not just about your siblings its about your community. In my home we were 4 kids for most part but I kid you not at any point n time there were at least 12 children in our compound . LOL the only problem was finding some quiet / alone time.

    If you are fortunate enough to have cousins etc who live nearby that helps too. So if you uave one or two kids just find ways of socializing them


  9. ziggyluscious // February 25, 2015 at 13:51 // Reply

    Finally decided to comment after silently reading for a while. Love the way you write Pynk, always did even on TT which is where I got to know you from. On the issue at hand, I always felt 2 or 3 kids max are the ideal number in most cases. Grew up the 1st of 5 kids and I know how difficult it was/is for my folks and especially for my mom after we lost my dad. Wouldn’t want that for my kids. Honestly want a number I can comfortably provide for alone, that way the combined effort of me and my future man would tip the scales towards a better future for the kids. Till then tho, that’s why I’m working hard on myself to be even more successful: to be one part of a great duo for my family!


  10. Grew up with 3 siblings and the younger 2 really cramped our style. My parents didn’t have a lot to start with but somehow the attention was focused on the younger 2. So while myself and my older brother had to go to Federal schools 6 hours from home, they attended Nigerian Navy school. What envy i felt then. 3 i think is a better number to manage, but even that requires some hard work and tons of mercy.


  11. I am definately having at most three kids when the time comes,mostimes I stil wounder why my parents had 5kids and in all honesty didn’t realy plan well for the my last two siblings bcuz to me they are the ones suffering it as my parents finances have dropped.thers realy no need bringing kids to the world that u can’t cater for.


  12. I’ve always said it, infact, I was having this same talk with a friend. The economy is not “child friendly” so having more than 2 kids to me is crossing the line. I don’t know what the future says but right now, 2 is the perfect number for me. Preferably twins so I go through that phase at once and move on with what life has to offer.


  13. About children, I have two now and I’m okay with them but hubby wants one more even though we have a boy and a girl. I’ve told him I might be ready for another baby when we no longer pay house rent. But the thought of nursing another baby, it’s not so welcoming. I keep thinking of the school fees and stress


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