Life life life. Oh nothing revealing, i hope your week started off well? I was having a conversation with a few people and we were talking about pressure. Pressure from parents when we are young.

What am i talking about? If you grew up in Nigeria,  everyone’s parents came first in their classroom? You tell that to a 5 year old instead of even trying to understand the kind of child you have? Or are we so competitive that we dont understand what pressure does?

When you hear of stories of young adults trying to comitt suicide because they failed exams and are afraid to face their parents, its a reflection on the parents if you ask me. Because at that point the child would rather not face their parent who is human.

What gives? We were discussing a fellow who jumped out of the window and landed on a car because he failed, his suicide attempt also failed – he is in a wheelchair for life. Someone else took his life because he failed a semester at Yale.

My thing is this though. We dont win every fight we show up to. We are not successful at everything we set our hands and minds too. So why dont Nigerian parents and some other societies understand this? If you look at many “successful” people, you will see a few failures in their pasts. So why cant we just work smart and dilligently and move on irrespective of the results?
I say come as you are and keep the happy. Just find the happy and keep it when you find it. Life isnt about “winning” its about living. Things rarely ever go as we plan, sometimes they actually turn out for the better.

Please share your thoughts on pressure. Pressure to be first, pressure to suceed, pressure to be best?



5 Comments on Pressure

  1. This pressure thing is not just from parents even the society puts pressure on people, like there is a standard for everything e.g before a certain age u are supposed to get married, on or before ur first wedding anniversary u are supposed to have a baby and it goes on like that…truth is most parents who put pressure on their kids failed at some point in their lives, now u see a man who couldn’t make money and be rich for himself telling his daughters that they must marry a rich man, can u imagine that and I say ‘ where were u when ur mates were making money and impacts’…


  2. Lol, @ Chrisy, the things parents do to their kids in the name of keeping up with the jones’.

    In this clime, the pressure for girls over 30 to get married drives them into making crazy choices, or the pressure for boys to make money, irrespective of the source.

    It Is so disheartening and sad. Values have no meaning. Everyone wants to belong.


  3. Pressure, as much as it has its good side/benefits, it’s downsides are also enormous and most often these downsides are not talked about.

    Pressure usually in the form of societal influences, friends and peers, competition are usually fuels for better achievement and ‘excellence’ but oftentimes we neglect the attendant negative consequences.

    One of these consequences which happens to be crucial is living as you rightly said. The Dalai Lama once remarked (paraphrased) that Man sacrifices health for money, then money for health; Man is so anxious about the future that he forgoes the present – the result being that he never really lives in the present nor the future; he lives as though he’d never die and dies without living. I believe ‘pressure’ does the same, it constricts one to chasing the ephemeral in life, without giving one the opportunity of discovering life. If parents/society knew the beauty and accomplishments that lies in the individual talents of the younger generation, we’d refrain from constraining them to fit some societal norms.

    Personally, I have had my fair share of ‘pressure’. During my younger days I had the good fortune of passing my subjects and moving to the next class, I still wasn’t spared the whole talk of my parents being tops in their classes. You can imagine my consternation when old dusty reports proved otherwise! Well that’s a talk for another day.

    Things aren’t moving as fast as I’d love them to be but I won’t trade it to be subject to some form of societal pressure. There’s need for drive, a moderate level of ambition in what we do and desire but we shouldn’t give in to ‘pressure’.


  4. I remember facing academic pressure from my parents in secondary school, they forced me into the science class so i could read medicine in future but Lord knows how much i hated the sciences. After struggling for over a year, they finally realized it wasn’t for me. Thankfully that was the last really pressure i got from them. They have tried their best to be supportive in all i do.

    I have also put alot of pressure on myself to achieve certain milestones at certain times. Some i achieved some i didn’t. I always felt devastated when i didn’t achieve some,but recently, i decided to just let go and stop putting unnecessary pressure on myself. i’ll do my best, if things work out great if they don’t, its all part of my journey. whats important is to enjoying every stage of life.


  5. True talk. You should push ur child to become better bt don’t put too much pressure on him. God help us to strike a good balance.


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