We make choices everyday, from whether to get out of bed or stay in it. Have breakfast or not have breakfast etc. You catch my drift.
one thing i have noticed that we are all guilty of is condemning former partners or current partners who are some of our choices. I know for one i used to be one of those people who ran down my exes – a particular one i still get irritated about, some weren’t decent people in the least, but in retrospect- i wasn’t forced into any of those relationships, so am i not partly to blame? Do i not carry part of the blame for putting myself in the said situation with the said person i am complaining about? This also applies to friendships. Fine you cannot control what people will do, however you can contribute to the madness by agreeing to be a part of this person’s life in whatever capacity you chose.
What brought this issue to mind was someone who sat in front of her husband’s younger siblings and called her husband stupid. The youngest sibling of her husband (think 10 years age difference) responded to her that for calling her husband, she was more stupid. As you know someone is stupid, but you laid down with a stupid person and had kids? You can change a husband, but you can never undo the parent of your child. I don’t understand why a lot of women do this. I know an older woman who all she used to tell her husband was how useless he was, simply because he wouldn’t give her money to do “luxury” spending on bags, gold and lace. Her kids were always taken care of, house bills paid etc. I think women need to watch their tongues.
Firstly the said man who if you are married to him, is you biggest choice and the most visible one you are making in front of the world. If you are going to put down your biggest choice, the in my brooklyn accent “even you aint sh*t”. I am not saying don’t complain if you feel the need to, but lets learn to chose our words wisely. We tend to sympathize with women who their husbands turn to emotional abuse after they have frustrated them, and we think the husband is a monster. I know of another woman who would throw out her husband’s clothes on the lawn in America and lock him out of the house in the winter if her hung out with his friends. The man didn’t have his papers,as soon as he got a green card- not through marriage – one of those amnesty things, dude asked for a divorce. The woman went running to his inlaws whom in the past she had cursed out, etc. The guy stayed married to her, but they don’t have a marriage in the true sense because he amplified the word cheating and she is now a laughing stock.
Choices – you marry a man or woman, be careful how you speak about their family. The choice you made in a partner comes from the same set of people you are condemning, your spouse’s conditioning is from that environment. If he is 30 years old, chances are he has been around them for 25 years, whatever it is, its going to take longer than a year of being married to you to undo the 25 years of whatever it is you think is inappropriate or wrong with that family. So my people thats my thought of the day.
Our choices are a reflection of us, how we think, how we feel about ourselves and where we see ourselves going. The bigger the choice, obviously the more of an impact there is on our life. Lets think of how we speak on our choices no matter how small as they are a reflection of us.
Please share your thoughts on choices…and if you have ever felt the need to speak negatively about your choices.
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