Feeling cheated & Confusion Artists

I know i have met my one quota post for the day. But i have to air my views on a few things today.
So i am in london town, fortunately for me UK border allowed me to enter. I guess they are tired of my ugly face. About 2ish my sis inlaw and i went to paddington station Sainsbury’s to grocery shop. We walked, its a 7 minute walk from the apartment abi flat like the Brits would say. We finished and headed to the burger king in the station,
The boys wanted kids meals. Why did we get home and the kids meals had no toys? I am sorry but whats the essence of a kids meal with no toys? Thats child abuse, highway robbery, deception i am short of words. Yes i am grossly offended, i was looking forward to seeing the toy you know. Fine the boys have other toys but its the principle behind it. Maybe its because we were black?  Hmm……
On to my next issue, i was reading Brlla Naija jejely and i decided to open a vlog oh. It was something about marriage. I mention no names of the author, it started off with how everybody’s time for marriage was different and as soon i was getting ready to say “yes finally someone is making sense”, i got thrown for a loop. Confusion artists. The person proceeded to advise about how to get a man. Shior. It totally eroded all she had said at the beginning. I believe often times we have the best of intentions, but we confuse ourselves and others when we dont organise our thoughts. I am not one of those women who believe in “settling down” in the true sense of it. Marriage if it is for you happens at its own time. Too many people end up in bad situations due to haste or pressure either self created or society created.
I will use myself as a case study. I was engaged in 2010 to someone who i had no business being with. Six weeks to the traditional i called off the wedding. I realised i was managing and making excuses for him. It takes a certain level of stubbornness to do something like that in Nigeria. Marrying that guy would have sent me to jail, i might have killed him in his sleep. I was 28 at that point.  I walked away from another situation where i thought someone was redeemable, i was 30. My two younger brothers who were born in 1985 and 1987 both have children and were married by 2012.
For me my happiness was paramount, i was comfortable in my own skin and living my own life. My husband came along when i least expected it and to be frank i went out on a date with him because i wanted free sushi and Japanese food from the japanese resturant on idejo in VI. We were there for 5 hours till 1am. i realised i needed to go to bed as i had to get up to run the next morning at 6.30am. Thats why we left.
This may be news, my husband is 14 months younger than me, he hates me saying it. I AM A PUMA!. I found out about 1 week after we met. I admired his accountability,  level of responsibility and work ethic. Do i love my husband?  Absolutely from the bottom of my heart, can i stand him 100% of the time? No not really. Maybe about 90%, i cant even stand myself all the time, i had to make peace with myself. My point is for the rest of my life (i have a nagging suspicion that i will live to be about 100), so another 70 years i maybe married to this person, its not beans. He hopes to die by 80 max and before me he says.
Ps: people who have lived reckless lives like me tend to live long. Lol.
Marriage can do one of two things for a human being, thicken your skin or erode it. My patience is higher than Kilimanjaro as i am right now. Five months into marriage my husband lost his older brother. There is nothing i can say to ease the pain, i have to let him cry in his corner, i have to make sure the situation doesnt completely erode our marriage and i also dont break down. I have to muster up supernatural powers and make sure i am there for him.
Look at marriage from my sis in laws point of view. Does anyone think they will be widowed at 35? After 9 years of marriage and left with two kids? Irrespective of the fact that those kids will be cared for financially, who hugs her at night?
The choice of who to share our most intimate moments with is a lifechanging decision not a hasty one to make. No one should make apologies for not settling, marriage if its for anyone will happen,  all this go to church and be a worker, dont wear miniskirt etc to find a husband is pure garbage, strippers marry and so do porn stars.
The most important thing to me is being a good human being with a purpose and having a damn good time as i go through life. Every morning i want to be a better version of myself than i was the day before. And most of it is between me and my God.

I have sent out the n3k airtime credit and the n5k gift card for the5kshop.com

I am trying to think of what next to give away.



12 Comments on Feeling cheated & Confusion Artists

  1. I agree, marriage isn’t a dress rehearsal, in this part of Thhe world (naija) we have lost the values.

    People marry these days cause it’s in vogue.

    God help us.


  2. Longest post ever! 😉

    Enjoy thyself! With the children, you’re sure of a cheerful atmosphere.


  3. I clocked 30 last month and I can relate a bit to this post. I’m not under pressure to get married and honestly I’m more concerned with getting back on my feet and being happy. If/when the right man comes along, icing on my cake but if not ill just eat the cake without icing and enjoy it. Lol


  4. Wow @ Miss Pynk. Nice ‘home’ u’ve got here. Never tot of visiting until I saw d referral few minuites ago on TTB. I’m glad some of my TTB pple are here already. What a 9c home u’ve got here. Plz keep up d good work


  5. Marriage is all we hear in this country,smh and the married ones feel they are now very good in counseling others. I just can’t compromise my happiness for anything or anyone. I just don’t bother with the so called vlog because majority of her life she never practiced what she talks about. Easier said than done.


  6. Going thru a tough time at the moment.was engaged(intro done) & all other prep was going on too but he left me for a whitey(married & preg b4 I even found out) cos of uk papers without a word from him & i had to see all thru pics & youtube & side talks.he dint even have d decency to apologise but told me he did it 4 us & what if he died,would I still say he wasted my time & so many crap after 6 yrs & am 29 now.waited that long for things to be fine but no reward from broke & lazy man.
    Just when am pulling myself together again.lost my dear bro on tues just from a short illness frm sat.he still went to the hospital mon,I gve him breakfast & dinner same mon.all for my other bro to found him slumped in the toilet tues morning.we tried all we could to revive him & rushed him to the hospital but we lost him.feels so hard to believe am never gonna see him again & wish I did so much more for him.seeing his body lifeless hurts so much & can’t get it out of my head.


    • OMG dee please take heart. I will send you an email. Sent you one yesterday. Please take all the time and space you need to grieve however you deem fit. As for that lousy excuse of a man, God dint deem he worthy of you thats why he took him out of your life.


    • Dee so sorry for your loss. WIll see prayers up for you to make it through this difficult time.

      As for the loser ex, keep stepping. God has bigger and better things in stock for you. Someone who is worthy of you, someone who will add value to your life, bring laughter to your soul is just around the corner.

      on the whole naija formular of “how to get a man” i just can’t deal. you will now start living a lie to catch a man. After you catch him with a lie, to keep him will require an even bigger lie. Abeg be yourself. As I am loud, silly, goofy, a travel junkie, ride or die for my 20 friends(circle of friends), no weave wearing, no makeup unless i’m off to an event kinda person, person still digs my style.

      Being someone else is a waste of the person you are.


  7. Thank u so much for the good words OAD & Bee.really do appreciate,being strong at the moment & finding solace he’s resting in a better place.
    Got the gift card too,thanks OAD.something to make me smile as I don’t get this lucky from a crowd often.appreciate too


  8. So sorry for your loss Dee.. may God comfort you and may the reason for the season continue to shine His light in your path..


  9. Hola! I’ve been reading your blog for some time now
    and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Atascocita Tx!
    Just wanted to tell you keep up the good work!


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