It is thanksgiving for my American Family, by default – me and my immediate family. The older I get, the harder I think about things, should we really be thanking God for the Pilgrim’s descendants taking over the land of the Indians? I mean these same pilgrims don’t think black deserve equal rights in America in 2014. In line with my general life theme, I will give thanks today, there’s no turkey, but there is a lot to be grateful for. My person is back in the hospital, potential diagnosis is very very worrisome, all the family members are together to seek the best way out. We pray for the Doctors to collectively find a diagnosis and effectively treat him. God is ever faithful.

Was out for the better part of yesterday, I finally picked up the foreign ground coffee hamper from Shoprite. My husband saw it; I think he is way too distracted to appreciate it now. I am happy to have won, and thank goodness I stumble upon it on The hamper has 10 bags of coffee from different countries, a grinder, and like a percolator type thing, totally awesome. My husband is quite the coffee connoisseur if I may say so, so I know he will get around to it soon.

I stopped by a friend’s office to say hello and see how they could creatively help me raise some funding for the school. Anyways as usual we got into private life. He did something to his wife – he slept with another chic, and his wife found out. Anyways she flushed her rings down the toilet, we will get to the cost later. And she moved out of the house, she also told her sister and pretty much the whole world about it. Her people were posting pictures of him and the babe on Instagram because they were in a joint picture together at a wedding. Anyways the whole thing was devastating, they are working on making up now. Ironically one of her friends that was telling the wife to leave him, told him if he needed anything to let her know.

I am not permissive of infidelity, not at all, but women – stop discussing your marital issues with girls and friends. I will explain why I say this; the advice to post the pictures on Instagram and disgrace him came from a girl, a woman will not advice you to handle your business that way, two there are friends who are so miserable they might actually want your life, so all they have to do is get you out of the way. Mothers generally have our best interest at heart, no matter how close you are to his mother, unless it is extremely serious, please don’t report him to his mother abeg, if you need someone to talk to, talk to your mother. If your mother isn’t available talk to a level headed aunt.

She is obviously back home with him, she has given the world the license to disrespect her husband and the father of her child. Indirectly she has also disrespected herself because she visibly went back to the situation. I know her husband fairly well, he is a town guy, and this is his first mishap that I am aware of. I say mishap, because can you really throw the baby out with the bath water? He is a good husband in many other ways, so lets be practical announcing to the world is not the answer. Instilling fear is more effective than reporting the person to the world. Yes you are angry, but keep your business inside; the people that are quickest to advice are generally the ones that don’t have your interest at heart.

His wife wants them to go to counseling, he is worried that they wont get a neutral counselor, so I told him to find an American marriage counselor than can Skype with them or Google hangout type thing. I am not a fan of many Nigerian churches in terms of counseling, because I believe they don’t cater to everybody and there is too much God factor, they tend to give blanket advice and butter up everything with the God factor. Yes God loves us, but he isn’t going to hold our hands every minute, he gave us brains so we could think and understand. And both parties need to heal, because in the process of fighting each other, they both have damaged each other.

The pink necklace is still up for grabs, so someone please win the thing. Ikoyi or VI drop off only, but you can pick it up in Ikoyi. In the spirit of thanksgiving, I have added two N500 recharge cards, so indicate what you want in your comment when you post your email address.


Lastly I want to thank everyone for reading my blog, as I know I take precious time out of your busy days.







11 Comments on Thanksgiving

  1. Been trying to comment since to no avail. I hope this goes through


  2. I give up. My epistle refuses to be published. In the spirit if thanksgiving, I accept the recharge card – Glo /

    Much thanks!


  3. I’m taking note of all the great advice you’re giving for when I get married. You sound like a seasoned veteran, thank you.

    I’m thankful for my family, for their support through the challenges I’ve been going through. I’m thankful for the cupcakes I won that has put me in a sugar high since yesterday and motivating me to work out harder. And I’m thankful for the gift of life, the grace to wake up each day intact.

    I’m also thankful for pynk360 my newfound blogcrush. I’m always excited when I come on here and see tons to read after just two days. God bless you Oyinda and please don’t relent.


  4. Praying your person gets better soon.


  5. I try not to discuss my relationship with anybody not even my mum for reasons best known to glo


  6. Sorry about your person dear. God will grant him/her speedy recovery.

    Great advice you got going there, sometimes when our loved ones hurt us, the tendency to want to hurt them back is very high, but marriage takes two matured people, many atimes the so called friends you are reporting to are the ones that pray for your downfall.

    Please everyone should thank you for me. I won the purple necklace, it’s soooo “beauriful” I can’t wait to rock them. I have just introduced several people to your blog.

    In the future I hope to return the kind gesture. Thanks again.



  7. I’m not married yet, but I agree with (and practise) what you said in my relationship. Even within the family, I tell only my 2 sisters whenever the boyfriend does something annoying because I want my parents and my brothers to continue loving AND respecting him since they’re obviously always going to choose me over him. Outside my family, it’s a complete information blackout. I hate aired dirty laundry…

    Your person. I’m keeping my fingers crossed and praying for good diagnosis AND prognosis.


  8. The reason I don’t have a lot of female friends,they literally cloud your judgment on some issues n u just keep falling. Now how does the wife expect to gain respect from the so called friends after this episode? And her hubby ll be their gist topic for d rest of the year. Learn to be discreet. Happy Thanksgiving.


  9. Nice blog u have got thru from TT.It’s well with ur family member,he shall pull thru by God’s grace.Amen.
    I see Tansi’s comment with ur name & previous posts & I just figured who u are,not that we know each other I know sef surprised are a beautiful person#nohomo
    The wifey flushing d ring was extreme thou I agree doing that then she dint think it thru & now that they are back,new ring I suppose but what if rings are to be flushed for every breakdown in marriages *confused face*
    Healing in such situations seems hard sef


  10. Know your friends and fam well so that you are never surprised of dissapointed.

    I have a friend who is ever ready to turn up, a friend who will pray with me when I’m so broken to pray, a friend I can call on to ginger me when I dont feel good enough, a friend with no chill that will force me to own up to my wrong ish, a friend who only takes my side, and my love who is so wise, calm,objective, rationale beyond imagination.

    I say this because you can’t go to everyone with anything. You won’t go to a plumber to fix your light. If you will seek for help, seek with sense.

    I pray for your friend that he’ll be able to get his marriage back to a good place. Forget what everyone will say behind their backs, as long as both of them can put in the work, they can restore their home.


  11. Food for thought @ d pilgrims n native indians stuff. I agree with ya about not showing d whole world ur dirty linen esp as concerns your marriage or relationship


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