Is It Your Baby?

So I was reading on the net earlier today and came across an article on c-sections vs vaginal birth. I choose to use the word vaginal birth because as far as I am concerned no birth is un-natural.. 
Essence of the article got me thinking as to why people have a need to feel special over stuff that is really beyond anyone’s control most of the time. I reasoned instead of typing my opinion there, I might as well share my thoughts here.

Type of delivery…while most women would love to push their babies, not everyone is keen on the possibilities that come with that. Likewise not every woman’s body can handle a vaginal birth for several reasons which can range from narrow pelvis to pregnancy complications. 

For the women who can simply walk into a delivery ward and the baby literally drops out, thats great but folks shouldn’t make anyone who has had a section feel any kind of way. Nobody just wakes up and says oh surgery is the best option. From experience there are many reasons why people choose sections. I chose a section.

1. I have a morbid fear of pushing- it just wasn’t worth the emotional trauma. 

2. A multiple pregnancy – pregnant with twins over 31 is considered high risk..and the possibility of baby B being born by section after delivering A successfully vaginally is about 25%. Why would I as a mother leave room for one of my babies to face distress?

3. My baby A was breech up until the day of delivery at 37 weeks 1 day. She refused to turn.

4. I had cholestasis which was diagnosed by week 34. I had originally scheduled the section for 38 weeks 1 day.

In all frankness I weighed the situation very early on and made my husband understand it was a serious thing for me and I would rather have some say in how it goes vs go in and be caught off gaurd. On speaking with my gynae and the fetal maternal specialist, they helped me reach the conclusion that the decision was ultimately mine- but a section was highly recommended. 

Outside of being sick – throwing up the 1st 10 hours after surgery, I can’t complain about anything else. My medical team was a riot (in a great kind of way) and very multicultural with very odd senses of humor. My anesthesiologist I suspect was Chinese American kept joking about think of yourself as Jesus on the cross…and my gynae was talking about a barbeque for 4th of July. All the nurses who took bets on the genders of the babies were all wrong so they kept going aww men when the gynae screamed Baby A – It’s a girl, Baby B – it’s a girl again. Lol.

That said I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything – I kept referring to the hospital as the hotel…go figure. Do I consider myself a real woman, hell m***fu***ng yeah! To carry belle and born is it beans? My babies are here and it’s only God at the end of the day that deserves glory.

It’s the same with IVF. Because some people bang and get belle doesnt mean they are better than anybody else. I saw someone try  to shade someone else who was pregnant about the same time as her with twins – saying at least hers was natural. Since when did pregnancy become un-natural? All is it not baby? Surrogate, sperm donor etc are they not babies?

It’s like a client my mom has who is worried at 40 she hasnt taken in. My mom asked her about IVF, this woman was busy kabashing and forbiding it. Meanwhile her younger sister went and got married after her and had triplets so now she is running around at 45 and they told her that her ovaries are done and she needs a donor etc, but she will carry her pregnancy herself. This woman is still busy trying to deny the truth …initially she had eggs now she doesn’t. 

God answers our prayers in many ways, but sometimes we are too blind to see. Her sister may be talked about, but ehn she has her kids and how she got them is frankly nobody’s business provided it was all legal and didn’t violate someone else’s rights. 

Anybody that needs something to lord or feel superior to someone else should go and accomplish real things such as building Unicorn companies. Don’t use biology as a comparison- for some people we see how Goe created them short of perfection, for some others their short comings are not as visible. 

So next time you think to judge someone please be mindful. At the end of the day, all na pikin and a mother’s joy can never be erased based on how she got pregnant or delivered that child.

“Tenx” – drops mic and walks away😉

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6 Comments on Is It Your Baby?

  1. I conceived via ivf and had an elective c.s at 38weeks. My baby is healthy, and so I’m I. My mom says I shldnt let anyone know but I disagree with her ‘ cos I think it’s amazing how God through science has helped people (like me) who otherwise would have had no chance of having their own babies.

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  2. Very well said!

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  3. I don’t engage in stupid conversations with folks.

    I keep asking for someone to bring out the studies that show children born through vaginal delivery are more successful than kids born through csection.

    People are so insecure they will look for anything to cling onto for a 1 up

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  4. “God answers our prayers in many ways, but sometimes we are too blind to see” so apt Miss Pynk. The way so called educated people reason these days is just too pathetic.
    The number of women that die every year from ‘ignorance’ is alarming, when your Dr gives you a candid advice and you decide to go meet your pastor to pray for you, so that you can give birth ‘naturally’ .
    People need to cut the crap on this senseless debate because the truth is even those that are suppose to know so much are just simply ignorant.

    Do babies born through cs have three eyes??
    Do ivf babies come with an extra leg or arm??? Do they look like vampires??? So why the crazy talks?

    Women! We are our worst enemies.

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  5. LOL such a joke to hear a discourse such as that. Thankfully we are so moving on from Vbac or CS to surrogacy or donor……I always tell women battling infertility, to be a mother or to be pregnant? Our gifts will come in different packages, let’s open our eyes and see them.

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