Was 2016 the worst year ever? Some people are saying so, some are saying otherwise. What say you? As for me I say 2016 was dynamic….in several ways.
1. The first third of the year – well 4 months or so was great for me workwise. Work came in, it got done and I got paid for the most part.
2. My pregnancy became real – I passed the 12 week viability mark and every week was a trial for me. Twins and advanced maternal age do not make for a great combination mentally. 31 is advanced age for twins and considered high risk. Lets just say the Internet became my best friend and worst enemy at the same time.
3. It’s almost number 2, but I have to place it as a separate point. My faith is unshakeable. I went from being someone who has a possible genetic mutation ( it’s too expensive to test for it) which was predicted to potentially affect my fertility to being pregnant with twins with minimal effort, to being a mother of 6 month old twins finishing out the year. In the past, a few people I mistakenly confided in even mocked me and told others I will never have children – my ex told me to go bring a child first before he would marry me. As strong as I am I lost my mind, not because of his requirements? but because I made myself believe love should be unconditional….for where, his wasnt! God blessed me beyond measure, me who went from being a potential fertility case study in a not so good way became the mother of twins? I named my children Alafia Boluwatito and Aduragbemi Oluwajuwonlo (let a yoruba person translate for you) inutero. To the point where the one person who was thought she was telling the world about me went speechless (only God can disgrace someone on our behalf I tell you). I thank God for grace- I am unworthy but God showed me love beyond measure – he used my husband and my children to show me that all I needed was faith. My life is a testimony. For me it was a primary reason I didn’t announce or chart my pregnancy- I wanted to see my children alive first because it was like a dream.
4. I need to pay more attention to my dreams. I never dream and remember, but I am now starting to notice that the dreams I remember vividly are almost always valid. In 2011 I dreamt I had twins, years prior about 2005 I think, I dreamt my first child was a girl and the first thing I said to her was “you look so much like your father” – when i held my first child I was crying, those were the words I uttered to her. Now I have been dreaming I had twin boys and the girls kept saying “mama this one is my baby”! I keep asking God what I am supposed to do with four children, I am ok with the two I have….this dream has been 3x now. I am beyond worried😂😂😂I dont have the mental or financial space for this right now.
5. I wonder sometimes why I decided to come back to Nigeria after I had my girls. Children are expensive no matter your societal status. While childcare is cheaper here, It just drives me crazy how the most basic things cost an arm and a leg. Let’s not even start with the erosion of the Naira- that mess made me tired.
6. I felt truly loved…I was given soo much for my children and they still continue getting stuff that I almost want to cry. I didn’t realise I have so much goodwill and I am considered a decent person by people. I live in a bubble so I choose to be oblivious to many things.
7. I have accepted my title from my husband as “the greatest redistributor of wealth he knows”! He teases me that I give out everything including other people’s stuff. I have accepted it as my lot. I have started giving out the girls clothes they have outgrown😂😂😂- not to worry I pray over them before I put them out, but I still have like two bags of newborn and 3m size clothes since my girls are on the petite side they just started wearing 6m clothes.
8. In pursuant (I wanted to use big English)to number 7, many of you know I have been working on trying to open a school. For some very odd reason I was easily able to buy equipment (furniture, cribs etc) but have been unable to comitt to renting a place. One of my brothers gave me a lightbulb moment- a kumbaya one – he asked me why I didn’t setup as a non-profit school for girls? We discussed in detail and he simply set me on the path….The less I resist the path, the more it seems feasible – getting a few commitments here and there work commences full steam in January. The goal is to make the marginalized Nigerian girl child globally competitive through education which potentially elevates her and her family from poverty. God help me to raise the money I need to start off with 15 to 20 girls at the Nursery level in 2017. It’s a tall task but hey?
9. I am much much broker than I started out the year, but I am at Peace.
10. When I pray – all I say is thank you Lord. That is it.
My motto for 2017 is “clear eyes full hearts can’t lose”! Go figure.
What about you? What did 2016 teach you?