What Does the World Owe Anybody?

I was reading the news a while back, and I remember reading about Chief MKO Abiola’s relatives complaining about the government not helping them. And I kept thinking to myself, these people are joking right? Apparently these relatives – not even his children- like his neices, nephews etc felt because he was the bread winner of the family before he died and met their needs, the government owed it to them to give them jobs etc.

Of course the thinker in me woke up and I was like – you got to be kidding me. This man has been dead for how long and these people still haven’t figured out that they need to take care of themselves? Do people get so complacent that once someone helps them they assume they are entitled to it for life? Do successful people have two heads? Or are they God’s special children? These ones in my opinion have refused to do anything for themselves.

I worry a lot about people who have a sense of entitlement, but are not willing to do what others have done to succeed. I know of someone who called to borrow money from me when I was in Baghdad working at the height of the war, matter of fact  a rocket exploded shortly after i hung up the call. I had proposed to the person to help them get a job with the company i worked for and she told me she couldn’t do that kind of work. The next time we spoke – i gave her a piece of my mind – you think you are too good for what someone else is doing, but you believe they owe you something? I am trying to understand that mindset.

People who think because someone else may have risen above certain things they deserve to help them – do they know how much that person had to navigate to get there? Or graduates who yell about there being no jobs? I remember graduating and not getting a job for the first three months in God’s own America and I was fully legally – i turned my weekend care job into a full time job (yes I am a certified Home Health Aide – complete with CPR and a few other certifications), and when i got my first suit and tie job i still worked that Home care job for the first 2 years at least two weekends a month. Nobody can conclusively say how much “shit” i have cleaned , and someone will turn around and tell you how lucky you are but you don’t want to help them? But if you offer them the “shit cleaning” opportunity you started out with, they don’t want oh. All they see is your current glory.. nothing else.

What do you expect from people? And if you do expect anything from people – when you don’t get it- what is your reaction? Share you experience about those who believe you can help them but don’t want to help them.

That giveaway is still HERE

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25 Comments on What Does the World Owe Anybody?

  1. I think to some extent it’s the culture, that makes people think they are automatically entitled to something they didn’t work for. I’ve always been a believer of the saying “nobody owes you anything”. However, when relief shows up, I’ll definitely welcome it with wide arms. And yes, some people think in a funny way. I remember when I was studying in England and I barely had extra cash to spend (Thank God my Dad had paid for my accommodation) I had some friends that made funny requests and when I politely turned them down, I got a funny vibe afterwards. I wasn’t so bothered tho’ I just kept saying ‘ko le ye won’ ( they can’t understand).

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    • Tumi its funny you should attach it to culture…I find it with many black people..and i am not sure why. In Nigeria they even get angry when you say no..its disturbing.

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  2. You want something done? Get it done yourself (my dad’s favorite line) and that’s the way I see life. You would be surprised that the people screaming about govt not helping them have so many opportunities dancing around them but they won’t pick it up,all they want to do is sit down,cross their legs and be fed.
    I don’t expect anything from people,just because I hate being disappointed. No one owes me anything and I don’t owe anyone. If I come to you for help and its positive,I would appreciate you but if its the other way,I won’t grumble,I will simply thank you and move on. Don’t make it look like its your right.

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    • Kiki but come, who is government? In Nigeria – government is one man just sitting there handing over everything the people should have? Many Nigerians are “above menial jobs” etc – so even if government was dishing stuff out, would people want it?

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  3. The only person I expect anything from is my hubby because he made a vow to be there. He’s expected to do his part in nurturing our children too. It’s just his responsibility and I thank God he’s up to it. Sometimes there’s a need (mostly it’s actually a want) he can’t meet, I understand that it might be met on a later date or not at all.

    I used to depend on my mum for her presence when the children came but I learnt to adjust and adapt to change. I got a nanny when I had to resume work and when I stopped working, I planned my day and week effectively.

    It’s normal to see funny reactions from people when you don’t meet up their expectations but when your heart is at peace and you know you truly can’t afford to help or your help isn’t appreciated, you move on. God has seen your heart, that’s what matters.

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    • Enjay I agree. Before I got married I expected nothing from anyone – however I stood in front of God so I do expect my husband to give me his best most of the time – there has to be room for error.

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  4. Hmmm free loaders would always be around for eternity. I believe in working for/towards what I want, I don’t sit around waiting for someone to help me. Maybe it all comes down to ones orientation. I remember a cousin of mine my dad brought to lagos and helped get a job for his level. But no, he wanted my father’s kinda job and he doesn’t have even ssce. He later asked for a ridiculous sum for a nonsensical business idea, expectedly my dad refused only for him to steal triple that amount from him and even had the nerve to drop a letter for my dad about him having such amount of money, yet he refused to help him, he’s such a wicked man bla bla bla… needless to say, he came begging not long after cos he blew the money away in no time. Such people are the problem.

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    • Lohla, those are the people that claim someone stole their star. Lol. One of my dad’s cousins came to Lagos like that too and refused to go to Laspotech even though it was clear he could barely speak English. He said it was America or nothing, meanwhile he had no clue we were working to pay our own fees. He now said he wanted to go to Cuba, my parents found the $1,600 for him to travel in 2008, you know this clown came back and said he missed the flight to Cuba? They now found out he never went to even buy a ticket. No problem, he found his way to Dubai by 2010 or so and i told my mother, mark my words – no work permit in Dubai= suicide. I was in Dubai at the time and I told them not to give him my number – no need for the drama – I was busy working legitimate 72 hour work weeks, didnt need any added stress. 2013, oh boy was finally deported – he went to beg my dad.

      Most of these people almost never end well.

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  5. I don’t understand how anyone would expect that their personal burdens ought to be borne by others. A relative called me asking for money 2 days ago and i said i would see what i could do. Biggest mistake, because since then he has called me at least 50 times, asked other people to call me as well. Now am getting text messages saying i promised and must not renege on my promise. Feels like an entrapment to me. Because of this self entitlement people go into financial commitments that they cannot afford, just cause they feel someone somewhere would eventually help them out. Its totally unreasonable

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    • Lifetitudes it’s better to say no outright. People like those will hold you to a promise you never made. Best to tell them you will assist through prayer. Otan.

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  6. Ikoya Adewale // July 21, 2015 at 15:31 // Reply

    A life of expectations isnt the kind of life we should be living in this age and time. Mistakes made by most peeps is that they allow the expectations overtake their normal being. You expect someone to help you with something shouldnt be misinterpreted to become that person must do this or that. Its a choice on the helpers part to help or not to help. if the helper decides to, it is also dependent on his choice to what degree he can help. And because it is a kind of assistance, you are obliged to appreciate no matter how little the offer may be. Even the richest of men have their challenges and shortcomings forget the public view that sees perfection only.

    As for those relatives, let them still chill, they arent hungry yet. shey its Mr. President they are waiting for, make dem no worry Buhari is coming, na go slow hold am…..e go soon come

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  7. The sense of entitlement people have concerning others monies,properties and stuff this days is crazy
    I have relatives that will come to my House and when they want something and you dont give will tell we the kids this is my uncles’ or brothers’ house forgetting who is supposed to be entitled to whatever cos the said uncle or brother is our Dad

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  8. I never expect anything from anyone, the only people i sometimes bother are my parents and even that depends on the circumstance. Entitled people abound everywhere! I have them as family and friends, sadly i dont think they are going to change anytime soon. the one that irritates the hell out of me is when they start making unnecessary demands and conclude with ”your’e still single what are you using money for”. I love to give but i hate it when people take advantage of me and feel it is their God given right to always collect from me. I have had to limit communication with a few family members and friends because they always ask for something whenever we talk.

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  9. @ OAD, I’m seriously trying to get the connection between the post and the picture (goat).

    It’s so hilarious.

    Human beings are generally selfish and will want to milk you dry. Honestly I don’t expect anything from anyone so that I don’t end up being disappointed. Not my folks or hubby.

    There are certain things that are constant and are a given, and it’s still dependent on circumstances.

    With family, there are certain expectations. While others are discretionary.

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  10. The sense of entitlement is the reason why some people prefer to help strangers than people they know. I always try to check myself to ensure I. Do not feel entitled to anyone especially relatives.

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  11. Hahah @ Clare …you and me both 😀 “@ OAD, I’m seriously trying to get the connection between the post and the picture (goat)”

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    • Lol. There was no correlation initially, on second thought- people complaining that govt didnt do anything for them 20 years later are goats. This man died when I was a teenager and I have hit at least one cycle of life in terms of abundance and not having.

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  12. “Beggars” with a sense of entitlement are a dime a dozen. It makes no sense whatsoever to feel entitled to money you didnt work for. To be honest, I feel like this sometimes especially when I’m broke and my sis or mum are very bouyant but I tell myself, Ibukun, did you work for that money with them? How did you spend your own money? If they spent theirs the way you spent yours, will it be there for you to want? And immediately, I move on and hustle until I get what I need by myself.

    Its actually quite irritating to see someone feel entitled to what you worked very hard to earn. There’s nothing bad in giving and helping people but when those people begin to see your help as a right or ur obligation to them, then there’s a problem. And that’s why I find it hard to render a particular help to anyone more than twice beacuse they almost always turn it to your duty/obligation to them.

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    • Ibk beggars is a little deep in terms of calling them out now. But i agree nobody has a right to anyone else’s hard earned cash.

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  13. It’s not even giving that’s my problem, it’s the entitlement and that many such ‘entitlement holders’ actually relax too much and even bad mouth one when you say no.

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