Are you Paranoid?

Are you paranoid or just Nigerian? Why do Nigerians hide and then try to invite you to their event? Apparently, you can’t even ask an obviously pregnant woman how she is doing, and if pregnancy has been kind to her. Nigerians, why do we hide? But we are Christians and Muslims, doesn’t our God protect us against evil? I found the picture below on Instagram.

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I like when people get married, you don’t hear about it, but they want to plan their 1st child’s naming, they decide to call you. What are you calling me for? So i saw on Facebook an old school mate got married, and pretty much none of us were invited or notified. I mean not that i take offense, but a few of my other old school mates felt slighted. Personally i was like i don’t have N20,000 to give anyone for aso ebi right now, sooo its all good.

I have been know to touch pregnant women’s bellies – In America only. In Nigeria, i don’t even bother asking people if they are pregnant. If you don’t tell me, i just assume you are fat, and i will make sure to tell you that when you announce the birth of your child. The American in me is sitting thinking, these Nigerians are really crazy, and the Nigerian in me is thinking American’s haven’t heard of evil spirits and witches and wizards from the village.

I am trying to wrap my head around it, note i am not saying display your entire life on social media, but if you are going to share the news after the fact, why where you hiding it to begin with? Or do you not have faith that God will give to you what he has apportioned for you?

It reminds me of the constant announcement of miracles of 50 to 60 year old women who after having battles of a life time with fertility issues come and tell us how they got a miracle. Those babies didn’t just appear, also tie in the high consistency of multiple births. Many people are unwilling to tell the truth that their Miracles were performed by God through fertility clinics and donor eggs or sperm or even both. How many twins did you know when growing up? How many younger ones do you know? You weren’t just fasting and praying for 20 years, you were seeking Doctor’s counsel at the same time, do not mislead those seeking hope. Nobody made themselves, and only God knows why he gives folks the struggles which he gives them and also the victory.

I remember announcing my wedding months before on Facebook, i didn’t want to hear – the you didn’t tell me stories. I would rather hear, sorry i couldn’t make it. Many people don’t have a clue what my husband looks like. It was people who came to the wedding and posted pictures that shared my wedding pictures for me on Facebook. So i ain’t saying a different pose of you and your fiance everyday, or your pregnant belly.

Do you expect to keep secrets and then announce it and expect people to celebrate with you after? Please share your thoughts. With pregnancy once you pass the three month period, i feel its OK to disclose it. Some people get married and then get divorced all in secret and you just wonder, why they are telling you the story five years later, but not to be mean – you sit and listen to them.

Nigerians shout about religion so much, but “traditional” beliefs seem to be our anchor as a society- be they good or bad.

My 2 cents for the day.

The giveaway for the week is an Insignia flex 10.1 tablet- 16GB.

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Please note the community member with the highest number of comments in total for the week – on all the posts from 11 May 2015 t0 16 May midnight wins the tablet as pictured above. Good luck to everyone. Item will be picked up either in Ikoyi or Victoria Island or Lagos Island by the winner.

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71 Comments on Are you Paranoid?

  1. My take is that if you’re going to be discreet, then be discreet about every aspect of your life rather than choosing which part to reveal or not – because of one witch in your village.

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  2. Nigerians are horribly superstitious… it comes down to the kind of society we live in. Well written….. Miracles indeed

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  3. Nigerians are toooooooo superstitious its crazy,I don’t put my whole life on social media for personal reasons,I don’t believe in this over hiding,from illness to having a cesarean its crazy. Remember when I was in NYSC camp,there was a mix up with my inhaler someone rushed out to help me get another saved my life. We should always tell people the basics am not saying to open ur whole life to them but u neva know when they will save ur life

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  4. Paranoia is really killing. You are not a full Nigerian till you have a demon you’re fighting, or an enemy that only works for your downfall

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  5. The things our culture has imbibed in us has contributed likewise. Africans have been fetish from times past, and its affecting our moving forward

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  6. Lord knows I can’t deal with a lot of naija pple. A very good friend of mine confirmed she was coming for my sisters wedding (a week to the wedding). Yes she’ll be there, we shall rock. Only for me to get baby shower invite from a random person inviting to this same friends shower.

    I’m like da f@$#. I deleted the invite, deleted her number, deleted from fb, and I have not spoken to her ever since.

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    • LOL. The something goes for something world. But the deletion, isn’t it a bit harsh? Like you acted in the spur of the moment?

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      • Harsh keh? Someone I talked to through out the pregnancy, without asking, she kept going on and on about how her MIL was waiting for kids but they weren’t ready to start trying. Was planning a whole weekend of rocking with me, all while knowing she was about to drop the baby.

        She did not even have the decency to call to give us heads up after she gave our info out for the shower. Na blad. I am very paranoid and that kinda person will plan your end while smiling in your face.

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    • What was she trying to prove though, I can’t wrap my head around it. If you let her know about ur sis’s she ought to do the same with regards to hers.
      I woulda reacted the way u did, though. Goood riddance

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  7. Lord knows, the day I find out I am pregnant, my mother, my sisters, and my bffs will probably get the news. We have shared every other good news together, so what makes this one different. It the baby doesn’t make it (I reject in Jesus name), na this same people go comfort me and help me pull through so what is the wahala.

    Now for everyone else, if you see me and ask me, I will be honest. if you ain’t God, you surely don’t have power over my womb.

    Naija pple just stay paranoid.
    – Don’t have single friends after you marry
    – Don’t have friends of the opposite sex after you marry
    – Don’t tell anyone when you are pregnant
    – If you tell you are pregnant, don’t tell anyone the due date.

    Geeze how will I live my life in peace keeping up with a list of crazy and meaningless rules

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    • All the last points you listed are sadly true. The change starts with us though. Find an enlightened partner, make enlightened babies and it would catch on.

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    • Hahaha meaningless list,a lot of lives have been lost. What does it cost us to be open? U know sometimes u get ideas from the same people we are hiding from.

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    • Aswear! Me, I don’t even know how to keep things away from my loved ones even in some cases it might undone somethings but I don’t mind. I just believe it was not meant to be what’s with keeping things away from people you claim you love though,i don’t get it.
      Once there is something interesting happening in my life everybody gets to share in the excitement

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    • That your list is sooooo on point, the married women one ehn na him worst pass
      If you want to see them abt something important has to be when their husband is not around or u just stand at their doorstep to discuss whatever u want to. Yea I know this and I know it well

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  8. They will hide the pregnancy but immediately the baby is born the whole social media will know *eyes roling* Nigerians just like to make their so called witches and wizard feel important. Well if you don’t tell me you are pregnant and baby comes,time to party if I have the chance I will show up, no space in my head to think of other people’s wahala. Whatever rocks your boat.

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  9. I’m not against someone keeping something from me, because i’ll just be waiting for them until they tell me about it then i’ll let my tongue loose on them.
    It’s just selfishness, if you are happy let others be happy with/for you. Don’t be stingy!
    LOL

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  10. But you won’t blame someone who as had several miscarriages if she doesn’t tell u until the bundle drops,because she’s not sure of the outcome until it comes out and wouldn’t want to get the hopes of her loved ones high only to shatter it . You can’t blame those who get pregnant and don’t tell ,only they know what they’ve been thru.
    For those getting married tho who decide not to tell certain family members, they are on their own or maybe trying to ration the party food so it can go round.

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  11. My brother used to tell me,if someone works really hard to hide something then u should work even harder not to know it guess that s the best way out

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  12. We miss the lessons to be learned a lot of times. I remember hanging with my cousins wife and her friends. Somehow the convo entered miscarriages, and 90% of them miscarried on their 1st pregnancy and new loads of other folks also.

    There I was thinking so this is.more common than I thought. Awareness on issues like this can at least bring solace to you knowing it is common. At best help you a newbie prevent the same outcome.

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  13. Not sure of the exact percentage of pregnancies that are miscarried but it is a whole lot more, we seem to be more aware because of better tech, what was oncwe considered a missed period is now known to be a miscarriage

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  14. lucynthia // May 16, 2015 at 20:52 // Reply

    I have this same picture. I used it as my display picture on BBM, come and see wahala.
    It amazes me when I see people tell me about their wedding 2 weeks to the time and they still expect you to buy asoebi. And they do introduction and do not tell anyone about it. Lol.
    Pregnant women are even worse! So u say ” oh, you look radiant, are you pregnant?’, they just smile and ignore. If you serve a God and you pray to that God why should you be scared of evil befalling you. People who do these things have very little faith in their God. As long as you believe that somebody somewhere who is not happy for you can steal your joy then you need to reevaluate your relationship with your maker.

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  15. Mzz johnson // May 19, 2015 at 10:25 // Reply

    Yes i agreed nogerian’s are supertitious but also i think they are over reacting.
    I have so wonder about this same issues serverally. I know we should be cautious dt doesnt mean every is tagged a bad person. If every one is bad then their parent and siblings should be included they are people too.

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