Haba, Being a lady is Hard Work!

On Wednesday, I decided to go out of my house. Yes I was stuck at home working for almost a whole week.. its not easy to make money, and I finally submitted the work to the client on Tuesday this week. Now to the matter at hand. I decided to venture out into the bad Lagos world, to go attempt being a lady. I got to the Osborne “traffic Light”/ yellow fever junction. I was driving my husband’s jeep and I even knacked sunglasses and “errthang”. That’s how yellow fever came to hustle me, the guy was shouting aunty Yellow. He now had the nerve to say “I yellow like you before, but sun do me like this”. Haba blasphemy of the highest degree. I only had my allotted spending for the day, so I had to use sense to tell the guy “bros I dey come”.

Upon leaving I first went to thread my eyebrows and remove my moustache. This exercise cost me N2,500 at O3 spa in Victoria Island. Then I went on to Hair Limited – Victoria Island t for my manicure and Pedicure – N4,500.

wpid-20150409_184754.jpgThank God I had the foresight to buy veet hair remover from London for 7 pounds and it lasted three months, if not my home waxing lady charges N5,000 for waxing the lady parts and underarms and half leg. This bill is already at N11,500. No toiletries and I haven’t done my hair yet. When I braid my hair, easily N5k unless I enter Onikan, maybe N3k. Thank God I don’t know how to “fix” human hair, if not that would have been added gbese. And oh I don’t buy pancake (makeup) on a monthly basis. Shout out to women who bleach also, because the effective bleaching creams are expensive.. my own yellow is free and cheap. Aah then add the cost of eyelashes and some other randoms.

By my estimation, the average Nigerian woman that is employed spends easily N15,000 a month on grooming. Many people wear weaves and do them monthly. Now I understand why some people wash their hair once a month or even once in 2 months. How can you pay N5,000 for two packs of chocolate hair and then N3k to fix it and take it out in 2 weeks because you want clean hair. To hell with clean hair. And if you have Beyonce tendencies, your beauty bill is at a minimum N50,000 per month without clothes. Hmm.. maybe that’s why there are so many naturalistas around? Even that one isn’t cheap, because you have to buy curling crème and other hair products that cost more than damn food. Only ori aka shea butter doesn’t work; I would know, I have tried that stuff by itself.

To the men that wonder why women don’t want t date broke men, as you have seen, looking good is good business. So if you want Beyonce, you better have Beyonce money or be damn well ready to subsidize that bill. Many women have moustaches – we have to remove them. Some of us are even unfortunate enough to have “bear bear” and chest hair to boot. So what gives? If we don’t groom, men will complain.. we groom..the bill is hefty. Who is winning in all this? Definitely the people who are providing these services.

Me I need a miracle as I am, I need a spa day.. I am sorry but grooming is expensive and its not very relaxing after all the money you spend. I wonder if I went a year without grooming and paying for beauty services how much I would save, and what I would look like.

Do share you grooming bill with us and how you creatively manage it; if you are able to. The most creative comment gets N3,000 phone credit. Also leave your network of choice along with your comment.

NESTR

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18 Comments on Haba, Being a lady is Hard Work!

  1. Hahahahaha. This had me rolling. It ain’t easy at all oh.

    Thank God for my epilator- That sorts out legs, underarm, thighs for $free.99

    Wax – $50 per month/every 5 weeks
    Lip and chin – $20 every 6 weeks on laser (thanks to groupon packages)
    Eyebrows – $5 a month
    Facial – $100 / quarter
    Pedicure – $20 / quarter (in between I paint my toes myself and I don’t bother with manicures, they don’t last)

    Omo my makeup no dey finish as on a daily basis I use baby powder on my face and chapstick on my lips (Makeup is for special occassions. Lol)

    I carry my natural hair (twist out). When I get tired of doing it myself I braid ($140)

    I’m not a product junkie so $4 shampoo, $4 conditioner, $7 leave in conditoner, $10 Shea oil, $8 castor oil, $10 aloevera juice last me at least 2-3 months (sometimes longer) – I wash my hair every 2 weeks even with braids.

    Check out caliamedspa.com in Lekki. Reasonable prices and excellent service.

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    • And I made mango chicken tonight. It was sooooooo good. Pity I can’t upload a pic. Thanks for the inspiration.

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    • Your bill is still high Bee. Lol. I just finished a jar of curling creme that cost $15 in 2 months. And i am wondering if i was jazzed into buying it. Hmmph

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  2. To be a beautiful lady is not easy,lol…. Grooming takes a whole lot of money but if you learn to do certain things yourself then you can pay for the rest.
    I’m mostly on braids because its very easy to manage and weavons just don’t do it for me at all. I take out my braids every four weeks then wash my hair and do another one. In between the four weeks I clean it every week,our weather is so not friendly and I hate it when ladies hair smells,it totally freaks me out. My manicure n pedicure I do them myself except when I’m very busy. Eyebrows I do that myself too. Facials I tend to it myself,the last time I paid for it I was disappointed at the outcome. Make up not everyday but the ones I have can last me for months. So basically my braids cost 3k plus the attachments,I always dodge the big salons,so I look for the ladies that don’t have shops trust me their results are far better than the big salons. Then I work through the other stuffs myself. This routine has saved me a whole lot of money. DIY has been saving me for a very lonnnngggg time lol,I just set a day for it and I get them done.

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    • Kiki, tou are beyond blessed with the whole DIY thing. Outside of my hair and changing my nail polish weekly, i am not keen on DIY! I also wont gamble with my eyebrows before i end up looking ridiculous like those Nigerian actresses. I tried shaving, but the after effects left me wondering and realising it wasnt worth it at all.

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      • Lmao @ Nigerian actresses,sometimes you look at some ladies brows and you wonder wth were they thinking.
        @ Clare guess I’m blessed with front hair,I never have problem with it and I braid every four weeks except when I relax my hair and I want it to breathe lol or when the doubting Thomases keep saying ‘I’m sure you don’t have a long hair that’s why you are always on braids’ so I comb my bra length hair for a week and braid again. *winks*

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  3. @ Kiki, we share the same routine almost to an exact “T”

    However, I don’t braid frequently to avoid my hair (front) cutting.

    I wear my natural permed hair sometimes and style using pins.

    I usually groom my nails myself, unless. There is an amazing nail polish color. I fall in love with @ the salon.

    Pedicure: I work on it once in two months, then handle the. Regular cleaning myself.

    In all, I spend about 7k monthly.

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  4. we really do try as ladies o.

    concerning the hair matter i save alot by asking our help or someone who doesnt earn so much about their hair braider. they then come to braid the hair at home for me. trust me they dont collect much at all. you will even pity them and dash them more sef. one asked for N500 for braids! i couldnt believe it, too bad she moved states.in my own opinion, they braid better than all this salons with names. but i dont trust them for fixing sha

    for weavons, except if i want to leave my hair out i fix on a cap and not my hair, more like a wig it costs like N3000. they last longer, my scalp is able to breath and i can wash my hair every week. i have 2 from last year, they still look so good and i’m about to make a 3rd one.

    for my brows and nails, DIY all the way.

    for massage, mani and pedi, i chech for spas on dealdey. but i do alot of research and ask questions before buying anything before i’ll end up in somebodys palour in the name of spa.i get deals for like N1500, and they are usually all inclusive.

    for makeup, cosmetics and hair products, i mostly buy them in bulk outside the country. the prices of this things here can make me shave my head.

    Etisalat.

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    • Zoe, I always consider asking my help for her braider, but i also learnt when they show up they start demanding ridiculous amounts. Its the same way as a teenager i never let my mom follow me to the salon, because the price automatically doubles. I call it the foreigner price.

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  5. My routine is very simple except am gearing up to present myself on a platter (errrm). Its usually home service fixing of weaves @ 5-6k, if the lady has to wash the hair it goes to 8-9k. Change of nail polish @ 1,5k.

    Make up lasts a year and i usually restock @ the end of the year. No special cream, i use a mixed tub of cocoa butter and ori that my friend sells at 3,5k which lasts for 5-6 months.

    I have no eyebrows or lashes worth trimming. In fact am looking for.

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  6. Y’all make me feel like a man.

    All the braids, fixing, brows, etc.. I don’t do any of those.
    My hair is natural and was a bit long until a few months ago and its almost always in corn rows. The last time I tried going to one of those natural hair salons, I spent almost 4k on a hairstyle that didn’t last more than a week! I felt like flogging myself after. I don’t paint my nails and I’ve never had a pedicure *covers face* Maybe when I get older I’ll be thinking like you guys 🙂
    I also don’t wear make up (eczema and eye irritation). So besides taking my bath and cutting my nails, I don’t do any special grooming. The only thing I spend a lot on is my clothes. Since I don’t do all the stuff ladies do to look pretty, I must look and dress good and I do.

    So all in all, I spend less than 2k on my hair monthly and zero on all the other stuff.

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  7. I am with ibukun, hardly spend money on grooming, I usually braid between 2-3k, wen am fixing I spend more cos of weavon,so on average 5k to make hair, am not hairy so I don’t shave my legs, even eyebrows I have nothing to shape, I do my facials myself with bicarbonate of soda costs less than N100, manicure/pedicure I hardly do but when the mood strikes it costs like #200 to fix my nails except the glass nails, eyelashes since one man almost blinded me in the name of it am off it for now, makeup I buy as the spirit leads, am more of an impulse cloth buyer.

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  8. Hair – braids 3 – 4k. Clean two weeks after, then every week. Lasts for four weeks. Weaves – fixing 1,5 – 2k. Lasts 3 weeks. Retouch 4-6 times a year, done most times by my mum who used to run a salon.

    I do my eye-brows. I don’t shave my legs, I’m kind of lucky, my hair is ‘relaxed’.

    Pedicure by mum, sometimes myself. No manicure. Nail polish might be one or twice in a year and I do it myself just on the toes.

    No frequent make up purchases, sometimes as the spirit leads, which can be once a year or as long as the make up can last.

    Body cream costs 2k, lasts for 4-6weeks.
    No facials.

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  9. It’s not easy to be a well groomed lady in this day and time but there are shortcuts lol. I do the necessary other things…pffffttt!
    I’ve been natural for 1yr and some months ,my staple products are unrefined Ori which cost btw #50-#200 depending on the quantity, my shampoo goes for #1500, I have two different conditioners I always do both prices adding up to 2500, the most expensive of my hair products is the leave in conditioner which cost me #2050 I have to add that all this product’s last up to a year in addition to some oils and a tweaking here and there!

    I got lucky when I found an hairdresser somewhere around me who makes my hair for me at a very cheap rate considering natural hair is not so easy to style it was like jackpot also I’m one of those people who can’t keep one hairstyle for long, yet I don’t spend up to 5k on my hair per month.
    I don’t do manicure or pedicure unless I have a very important outing which happens to be once in a while
    I use my #600 Veet to remove body hair.
    For my make up I get good products from trade fair which is less expensive and sometimes you could come across popular make up companies on promo.
    Dazzall!

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  10. Hahaha. Hilarious post. Relatable though. 5k for the home service wax sounds too good. Haa! I wax JUST full legs for 7k on my just-got-outta-uni allowance 🙁 Can I get deets on the waxing lady? Pleaseeeee??? Thank you.

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  11. Are You Kidding // June 24, 2015 at 23:24 // Reply

    I guess this post and the comments are coming from a place of upper upper middle class privilege (oh, let’s just say you’re rich, shall we). I can’t even tell you how unreal it sounds to me, putting down four thousand, five hundred naira for a mani-pedi. We obviously don’t live in the same world. And you’re lamenting about how much money it costs.

    Please. If I had the kind of…financial levity you do, I’d absolutely do my hair for five grand without having to blog about cost cutting. Creative managing is putting gel on your edges so you can manage to keep the braids you made for two grand, for another week.

    Own it.

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    • Are You Kidding // June 24, 2015 at 23:54 // Reply

      Oh, and the 2 grand is for both the “attachment” which cost 1,100, and the braider’s fee, which was 900.
      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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